Delusional Desires/Reality Bytes

Because I read my own blog...

2012-01-26T19:11:00.001+08:00

I have decided to tag my entries!

Haha, mostly for my easier navigation, but going through 750+ entries is a chore.

So, only the 2012 and travel entries are tagged!

Be back later with the B.A.P. review!

Sh*t Korean Girls Say

2012-01-25T10:31:00.001+08:00

I am still on break! WHEE!!

And for the last five days of my break, here's what kept me entertained:

The video's absolutely hilarious! Not only because the protagonist is as unbelievable as he/she can get, but also because everything in the video is absolutely true!!

I will never forgive myself if I ever use any of these "sayings" because they are simply irritating and fulfil no good purpose - unless you want to come across as a helpless, stupid girl.

But that said, I do understand the power a girl can attain from using these "sayings". When used in measured tones and sparingly, you never know what you can get guys to do for you. Muahaha. Hey, some guys like this crap, and if you can use it to your advantage, I say, milk them for all they've got.

This is, if you don't laugh at yourself, or roll your eyes in the middle of doing it. Which I tend to do, cos it's absolutely ridiculous to put my dignity aside just so I can act cute. Eurgh.

Alrighty, back to my break! Gonna enjoy my lovely long (10-day) CNY break to the max!!

Warrior

2012-01-20T12:03:00.002+08:00

EXO who?

After the infinite number of teasers of EXO by SM, I'm bored. And the music in all the teasers sound the same - polished, dancey, shiny.

Now, here's something more provocative:

That's the MV teaser for B.A.P.'s debut single, Warrior. I love how edgy the images are!!

Debut - 26 January 2012.

Anticipating!

What I Miss

2012-01-19T17:57:00.000+08:00

Good discussions. Even if there are no conclusions. More often than not, I learn a lot from discussions.

Sure, not those long-drawn discussions at meetings where time spent talking = productivity drop.

Those tutorial and lecture discussions in university - I miss them a lot.

These days, there are very few people whom I can meet up and strike a good conversation with. More often than not, we'll be discussing marriage, family and children. Or how everyone else is tired of their job.

And none of those topics I have much interest in, as you already know.

But yesterday I met with Jodie (just Jodie alone - Baby Lucas was at home with Daddy Bryan), and we were at dinner for only about one and a half hours, but conversation was great!

Sure, there's the usual, "How's work?" and "How's Lucas?"

But we talked on and on about what we used to in school!

The digital media/music industry, business and social factors contributing to the rise (or lack thereof) of digital media in Asia, the immigrant and uprooting trend, etc etc etc.

And these topics arose from our everyday life - the dismal digital growth in Singapore despite our country being affluent (my job), the unfair treatment of PRs in Singapore (Jodie's struggle to make ends meet living in Singapore), how we both do not want to live in our own countries despite the economic prosperity and development evident.

I truly miss having discussions like these. We made insights into our own research and I may even have a broader picture of my thesis to come - more options at the beginning is always a good thing.

With other people, I always get the vibe that they are trying to make some intellectual comment but they do not know anything much about the situation.

For example - the taxi fare hikes. One of my friends said that it is not the fault of the government, the private companies need to be berated instead. I think she needs to look up how the Public Transport Council and other such statutory boards are linked to the government, who sits on the boards, etc. Perhaps think a little deeper into the situation and make the right connections. The world is not as innocent as you would like it to be.

But that's another story altogether.

I had a great time with Jodie last night, and I hope she did too, even if it was for only two hours.

And congrats, Jodie, for being chosen to present your paper at the ICA Conference 2012 in Arizona. You've earned it! <3

Random-ness

2012-01-18T17:31:00.004+08:00

If I am not ranting, I'm rambling.

Yup, it's that time of the day again - I'm bored.

A thousand thoughts running through my head, but the priority today is:

How did 50 days pass by so quickly?! I am in panic mode, OMG!!

My little post-it on my keyboard says D-189, but the counter on my phone says D-135. Just like that, about 50 days have passed by and I still have no definite idea how the move is gonna work.

Just two months ago on this day, I was gearing up to watch THE concert of my life - Super Show 4 in Seoul.

One month more, and I'll be watching my fav boys again - Super Show 4 Singapore.

SO EXCITING!

But that's all icing on the cake - my list of things to bring is not moving as quickly as it should. Sometimes I look at something and I'll make a mental note to pack it, but you know how short-term my memory is.

GARH.

But when things get a lil' tough I put my earphones on and I play this:

Ok, the song itself has nothing to do with lifting my spirits - sometimes it just does the opposite, what with lyrics like "It's still you and me," and "I won't let go of your hands."

But it's got such a pretty melody, and it really does a great job of putting a smile on my face.

I'll forever remember how much I anticipated this song being performed live, having watched fancams. The revolving stage, the stage lift, and the harmonization. And the sense of wonder that came when this scene was finally played out in front of my eyes - pure magic.

Well, that's that.

Hah, as random as I can get - B.A.P. has released image teasers of all members. Try to differentiate them:

I like that they're all so boldly blonde, but for the life of me, who is who?!

Nevertheless, I'm still anticipating. MV teaser out on Friday and the debut the following week. Exciting!

And dinner with Jodie later should be nice! Cannot wait for the clock to strike six.

I need to win the lottery.

2012-01-13T16:33:00.003+08:00

It's always like this. Like this!

I save my money and then I need to choose. I can't have it all. What happened to the days when I wouldn't even care and bought concert tickets as if I printed money?

Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, Gwen Stefani, The Click Five. And that's what I remember off the top of my head.

It didn't matter if I didn't know the entire repertoire of the artist. I just had to like the hit singles and that would be enough impetus for me to go buy a ticket. That, and of course, the thought of being able to boast to others that I've been to who-and-who's concerts. Muahaha.

But now that I am older, and hopefully wiser, I know that I do not print money. I have to carefully choose where I want my money to go, so that I will be able to pay for responsibilities/needs (the damned ST subscription, my CPF education loan, etc etc), my wants (SS4 Seoul), and my dreams (which will empty my bank account).

So. Here's the problem.

February: Super Show 4 Singapore - about $350, since I am paying for half my mom's ticket too.
March: Vietnam (Halong Bay) trip - about $800, and that's budget airline we're talking; I DETEST budget.
April: Hong Kong trip - about $1000, again budget; GARH
May: Super Show 4 Tokyo - about $2000, and this is wishful thinking; I just want to watch a concert at the Tokyo Dome and SJ happens to be holding SS4 there!!
June: Jason Mraz SEA promo tour - about $1000, this isn't even confirmed, just rumours flying about, but Mraz, why are you making me fly all around the world to watch you?!
June/July/August: World Expo in Yeosu, Korea - about $500, I'd be damned if I don't go for this one!

Oh, they just announced Foo Fighters too. I don't know most of their songs, but this is Dave Grohl you're talking about. Foo freaking Fighters. It's tempting, but I no longer go for concerts just cos I like one or two songs very much. And I don't do the boasting thing anymore. Those tickets should go to real, true fans. Just sayin'.

Let's not forget Wang Lee Hom, who has yet to announce his Singapore date. Same case as Foo Fighters.

As I am typing this, the radio is playing I Wanna Be Rich by Calloway. No kidding.

I need to *NOT* be broke!!! I need that money for other more important things in my life!!!

I HAVE TO CHOOSE AND I HATE THAT.

Super Show 4 in Singapore. No Tokyo. I've already done the Seoul leg. I'll watch something else at the Tokyo Dome another time.

Vietnam or Hong Kong? I've never been to Vietnam. But what about Hong Kong with my lecturers who I might not be able to meet again in my life? And let's not forget the World Expo, it's on the way. Oh, but what about the money I need for my dream?!

Mraz. Why, Mraz? You better have a show in Korea so I can slot you in with the World Expo.

GARH.

Life is so difficult. Lol.

B.A.P.

2012-01-12T14:18:00.001+08:00

While everyone's entranced by the EXO teasers, let's not forget the other boyband that's highly anticipated to debut - B.A.P.

An acronym for Best, Absolute, Perfect, I like the ring that the words give.

I'm more excited for B.A.P., it's just that they've chosen a different marketing strategy from the shiny pretty teasers of EXO.

And besides, you can only take shiny and pretty up to a certain level. After that, without the substance, it gets boring.

And it doesn't help that SM keeps teasing us with Kai. My sis says EXO-K stands for EXO-Kai, and the rest of them belong to EXO-M. Hahaha!

I'm watching B.A.P. closely because they've previously released some tracks featuring the members, notably Bang Yong Guk. They've also put their members in variety shows to give them some exposure before the big debut.

Bring the new boybands on already!

The Axe

2012-01-09T22:06:00.002+08:00

I have a seat on the MRT ride home. I want to rest my eyes and take a short nap.

But I have so many things running through my head right now.

I think I just had the worst Monday ever. I don't usually suffer from the Monday blues - perhaps just a little tired from two days of play and insufficient sleep - but today, a huge piece of bad news befell us.

You know I work in the music industry. In Singapore. The industry is not doing well. The axe fell.

Not on me.

I am thankful to God for that.

But I cannot help but feel guilty. Like I can and I should do more.

I can go on forever trying to analyse what our bosses were thinking when they made such decisions. It must be tough on them too.

Is it right that I am staying? After all, things are changing for me. My place could mean someone else's rice bowl.

Did I make the right choice in making my plans known? My boss has the right to know. But did my actions play a part in saving me from the axe? It is, after all, the more cost-effective decision.

But I know for sure that if I did get the axe (and I have very strong, valid reasons to axe me if I were the boss), I would rage so bad.

Was it a fair decision?

Others will have a lot of different opinions on what happened today, but I can safely say, I am glad I decided not to nap on the train ride home.

Haha.

Because now, I am much clearer on this issue. I would have made the same decision. For myself, at least. I cannot say the same for the others.

At the very least, I am now more at peace with my position in the whole axing (axis) of things.

That does not take away the sadness I feel for others, but I have to continue to put my trust in God.

He has a His own way of telling us what is better for us - it is up to us to accept the path or to try another one.

:)

Is being pretty everything?

2012-01-06T17:22:00.003+08:00

My Friday today began like this:

Ok, no proposals for me, but I started my day watching the vid, lah. Duh.

I didn't get to watch the entire thing in one sitting - the video is edited in such a way that even those with the hardest of hearts would suddenly be (gasp!) in a teary mush.

While I was definitely moved by the video, I have to say, the proposal idea itself isn't that original. I am sure there are a thousand guys out there who have done the same thing.

And having attended so many weddings I don't care about, that video was probably made to be used during the wedding dinner.

Yes, yes. Cynical me. Blah blah blah.

But you know what, even cynical me wished something like that would happen in her future. Perhaps not in the near future, and of course not from someone who looks that dude.

And then.... The whole looks versus personality and everything else argument came into the picture.

I've never been afraid to say that I consider looks important in my partner. Perhaps that is the reason why I am still single. *shrugs*

I'm not one of those people who preach that personality is more important, and that looks are merely temporary. I brush these comments off just like I ignore idiots because they're pretty much false.

At the very root of it all, there must be some form of physical attraction between two people for a relationship to work. Above other things like personality matches and chemsitry, of course. Just like Audrey and Tim. Audrey's cute, and Tim's... cute-ish too. Cute to Audrey, at least.

I don't question that. But if Audrey tells me she doesn't go for looks I'm gonna walk away.

Because she must, in some unfathomable (Is there such a word?) way, be attracted to Tim physically as she is in any other way.

But then I find myself in a sticky situation. I claim to place good looks as an important factor in my partner, so I like good-looking boys. On the other hand, I get disgruntled when boys tell me that they like pretty girls.

Not in a OMG-why-are-you-so-shallow way, but more like a yes-but-what-about-me way. I understand why they like pretty girls - the exact same reason why I like pretty boys.

But just like what Fat Cat says in her song:

It's not that looks are everything, but there's also something more that you need to discover about me that you may also like.

I don't know. And you'll never know if you don't question what you see on the outside.

Her pretty eyes may just be enhanced by false eyelashes and eyeliner (I don't use those very often, by the way, I have naturally pretty eyes! Muahaha.). Or maybe she had plastic surgery.

Just sayin'.

;)

Jason Mraz turns emo

2012-01-03T17:26:00.002+08:00

He is back, and it's gonna be a hell of a great album!! Cannot wait, but first!

The new lyric video of I Won't Give Up.

Mraz goes more folksy now, and I think I need some time to digest this song. I don't particularly like it the first time I heard it...

(And cos I've expanded the width of my contents column, we get larger videos and photos! Woot!)

Hello 2012

2012-01-01T17:23:00.001+08:00

I'm too cautious to want to say that 2012 will be a good one.

There're a lot of changes lined up for me this year, but I cannot confirm yet if they will be good or bad.

I'm in uncertain territory, and it's exciting. If things go really bad, at least I will have the experience to keep! And honestly, from my vantage point, nothing can be worse that what I can see now.

So! Bring it on, 2012!

Sharing it on my blog every step of the way! :)

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

I suppose it's that time of the year again....

Let's see... I used to do Top Ten Songs, but I've stopped now. I always do a point-by-point round-up, but I've done a summary previously. I tweeted about doing a review of my top three albums, but I'm now lazy.

I guess this year, I've used up my rant quota. And you thought that'd never happen, eh? Every other time I'm here, I'm ranting. Everything about my life here is wrong. Everything about my life here is not working out right. Everything about my life here, I need to change. And there's no one else to rant to except on my blog.

2012 resolutions for Singapore - if one of these were to be actually seen through, maybe I wouldn't despise this place so much.

I guess also this year, I've used up my thank-you-god quota. I've been so blessed for so many good things, that I've lost count. These gifts helped me to get through the bad times, and helped me to have more faith. So, once again, THANK YOU GOD.

So, I suppose it's time to end this year with the hope and faith that 2012 will be just as smashing.

Off to watch/stream the countdown in Seoul!

EXO

2011-12-27T16:42:00.011+08:00

(Updated with latest teasers!)

(Why does KAI get SOOOOO many teasers?!)

(Ten teasers?! Seriously?! Losing interest!)

Okay, I am supposed to do an annual round-up thing before the year throws up in my face, but I cannot resist this!

SME is gonna debut a new boyband, and while I'm also anticipating the debut of BAP with Bang Yong Guk, I must say... these trailers with the new SM boyband members are addictive!!

The boys look alright, but they're waaaay too young to be fangirling over, I'll take SuJu over them any day. But! The music! The dancing!

Watch and judge for yourself.

Before the breakdown

2011-12-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

The dreaded Monday morning. The dreaded, rainy Monday morning. The train is moving as slowly as it possibly can; after the subway breakdown fiasco last week, it had better.

The only thing I am glad for this morning is my decision to put on my boots instead of my sneakers.

I can't read my book because that would be inconsiderate - that extra space between my book and the next commuter could cost someone's ride to work.

The music alone is not enough. Korean songs make me wish I can understand the language better after two years of study. I must have been sleeping in class all this while.

So I was peering at someone's newspaper (c'mon, like you don't) and I read, "Are we becoming a template nation?"

My answer to this question, since I was 18, has always been a resounding, "Yes!"

And why would it not be?

People look at me as if I am an alien whenever I am in my boots. No one is interested in looking presentable, we just need what we wear to work in our hot and humid weather. Well, good luck with the puddles in those flats.

I take on a job I love and people discuss about my stupidity in settling for such a low salary. I hope you're happy taking orders from superiors who are not able to pen gramatically correct emails. And how come your salary can never seem to cover your expenses?

I am not bothered about my marital status but you have to point out that there must be somehing dreadfully wrong with me for no one to want to be with me. I am sorry your standards are so low. HDB and SDU can kiss my ass. Sorry I couldn't find better words to express my displeasure. At least I didn't use emoticons - those are for people who cannot express themselves, period.

I want to find myself a better future, away from the templates I have to use here. I want to build my identity, wear my boots and be accepted for being myself. You don't believe me and ask me why I am being selfish and silly.

Well, YOU are the very reason why I want to leave.

D-165

Time is getting short. I am starting to have some worries - did I really think I can do my masters in Korean - but I need to push on.

More, more, more rah-rah in my head and on this blog. I need to keep myself motivated.

And we know I am on my own for this one.

내가 제일 잘 나가.

The Last Goodbye

2011-12-16T11:02:00.001+08:00

Ok, not exactly.

I think it is finally starting to sink in. It has been about three weeks since, and now that the decision's been made, the dates have been set, and the countdown as begun, I cannot help but try to mark every single event as the last one here.

I can't wait to get out of this place. As Bec put it yesterday - it is very suffocating for me to be here. I couldn't even find the right word when I was explaining to her yesterday why I wanted to "suffer".

The girl's so adorable. When I told her the news, she was so shocked, I think she put me back into shock.

"Who's gonna cook for you?"

"Who's gonna do the housework for you?"

And the big one, "Why do you want to put yourself through this?"

I was slightly taken aback beacause she knew I have been preparing for this for about a year and a half already.

But I guess it's nice to know someone will actually miss you when you're not around.

Today we will be having our annual Christmas party. I can't help but feel a little sad, cos it may very well be the last Christmas party I have here.

I've had a very good time here, and there isn't even a day that I wish I were working somewhere else other than here.

But other than the solace I can find from keying out orders, setting up promos and selling CDs at events, I must say, outside the office and my work, life here is, well, suffocating.

I'd want to rant more about the suffocation, but let's leave it at that today.

Today, I will try to like Christmas. It's the last one I'll be spending here, anyways.

Super Junior feat. Henry & Zhoumi - Santa U Are The One

PS The other thing that will make me like Christmas - all 11 boys in that video in a package with a huge ribbon, just for me. Muahaha. Imagine how much fun that will be. ;)

Wanderlust

2011-12-12T17:32:00.004+08:00

wan·der·lust
noun
a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about

To think I've been harbouring wanderlust for the past year and a half.

Never thought I'd be one who'd want to travel. Never thought that I'd be bored staying still and being stable. Never thought I'd be one who wouldn't mind inconvenience and uncertainty.

I was going though my old blog posts (yup, time for that annual reflection), and sometimes it astounds me how much my dreams have changed in three to four short years.

Just before I graduated, I knew exactly where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing. I'm still sure of that, but now these expectations have been given wider interpretations.

Hard knocks keep your feet on the ground, I guess. They also force you keep re-thinking your expectations, so that you don't disappoint yourself.

It's a tad surreal to read through the entries from 2010, when I was just starting to play around with the idea of moving away from Singapore. Back then, I thought about the options that I could use to turn this idea into reality.

I documented the days I searched through the different universities and courses, trying to find one that was suitable. I whined about those who did not take me seriously, thinking that this was a phase I was going through to gain attention.

I filtered out the negative thoughts and soldiered on, continuing with my plans and Korean language classes, not really knowing if what I was doing was the right thing or if I was just being plain silly.

But I've learnt to accept that there is only one constant in my life that I can depend on: CHANGE.

Yup, those coins jingling and jangling in your pocket, cos I always need them to buy my brekkie in the morn.

Haha, bad joke.

Anyways, you never know what's gonna hit you next, and you can never be fully prepared for anything. So let's just take what comes, deal, and move on.

I've been extremely fortunate this year. Yes, there were a number of huge boo-boos this year, but at the same time, God has been so kind to bless me and my family so much this year.

- Our house is now as pretty as it can be, we've had enough money to renovate it to our liking, even though the process was a bitch and it was a chore trying to get used to the new changes in our home. We've still got a number of things to buy, but those will have to be one at a time.

- My sister has graduated from university! It wasn't an easy thing for her, since she took a year off her studies, and as a result she was not able to gain entry to any of the local universities. But now that's all good and done with, here's to better things for her and for her future! <3

- Even though my uncle's restaurant in Thailand didn't take off, God blessed us with a wonderful windfall to help us tide the storm over. It was unexpected, and we're deeply grateful for this. And I have faith that in this new storm that we're facing, God will surely continue to be with us to help us again. Of course, nothing works by just praying, and we're doing our best to make sure that we'll be alright.

- I've had unbelievable luck to be able to travel so many times since I graduated. This year alone, I was able to visit Taiwan and Korea. Korea twice, too. Travelling means so much more to me than shopping, eating and being a tourist. Though my travelling experiences are limited, I believe my mind has been opened up by the many different sights, smells and sounds from places so different than what I am used to. I am thankful to be able to have discovered so many new things - they, in turn, have fuelled my desire to get out of my comfort zone.

- As soon as I got back from Korea in April last year, I made the decision that I wanted to experience life there. Since then, it has been more than one and a half years' of preparation. Decisions were made, researched was done, plans and letters were written. I didn't hope for much, and I still harbour some self-doubt. Will I be able to live on my own? Will I be able to adapt? Will I be worse off there than I already am here? Will I like snow? Questions with no answers now, but perhaps in six months' time I will be able to formulate some conclusions. I've got just the winter song while waiting, too!

Super Junior - Snow White

(C'mon, don't tell me you didn't see that coming!)

It may only be five items long, but that blessings list represents an infinitesimal amount of joy.

The biggest lesson I've learnt this year? I've come to realise that I need to only fight the battles I can win. That way, I will never lose. Muahaha.

And so, with that thought, I will continue soldiering on in 2012.

Thank you again, God, for the blessings you have showered upon us in 2011. Please continue to watch over us in 2012.

Because this week has been unbearably slow

2011-12-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

Okay.

I am bored. Not to tears, but very close to.

I am not sure what's causing this lack of motivation:
- I won't be here much longer cos I'm moving away
- I won't be here much longer cos I'm dispensible
- PMS

Scratch the last one. When I get PMS, I eat. I get unexplainable mood swings. I don't stop working.

Anyways, since I've been back from Seoul, I find that my motivation level here has reached an all-time low.

I don't really want to go to work anymore. Now, more than ever, do I not want to be here anymore.

I guess poeple would call this post-travel depression. But I think my lack of motivation can be more closely attributed to what I discovered last week.

Well, it isn't really a discovery per se. I saw it coming.

But anyways...

One more hour before I get outta here.

--------------------

Okay, so that was yesterday. I didn't have the motivation to complete the post.

Today, time is still dragging, but nothing like SuJu to pick me up from the doldrums!

It's still a long way to go till February, but we're so excited already!

Super Show 4 Singapore!!

Haha, it's gonna be a par-taaaay!

But first, SS4 Japan this weekend and SS4 Taiwan first.

One thing I'm not so excited about - they're probably gonna perform their new Japanese single, Snow White at SS4 Japan! No first dibs for me!

Here's the audio anyway:

It's nothing fantastic - no production breakthrough, no special effects, just a really pretty melody.

It's one of those songs that set girls' hearts a-flutter. Which is all well and good, since that's what nine good-looking boys are meant to do. Haha.

I need to get those Japanese lyrics translated! Grr.

--------------------

In other news, I got a teeny bit of bad news this morning. It is not devastating, and it doesn't change anything, but I guess whenever you're told you didn't succeed in something, a tiny bit of you is bound to feel sad.

Oh wells, no matter!

Like I said, it's not a loss, and nothing has or will change because of it!

---------------------

And then, in the late afternoon of the day, my eye zooms on this anti-kpop article published in The Straits Times.

The writer is trending on Twitter (Singapore) as I am typing this.

I think it is a well-written piece, and her vocabulary is wide, but a tad presumptuous.

She got her facts right too - the slave contracts and the crazy fans. FYI, I refuse to fanchant and I don't keep beat to a song with a lightstick. I sing along, dance, sway, just like I would at any other concert. I am willing to spoil a fan project - and I've done it before.

Sidetrack: A fan project is a, well, project, that has been planned by the fans merticulously so that at a certain point in time in a song, everyone in the audience seated in a certain area does something to exhibit something to the performers. For example, the fan project I spoilt - those seated in my area at SS3 SG were asked to hold up a sign that read, "Happy birthday, Kyuhyun!" when he was singing his solo. The effect would be to move him to tears. I refused, so guess there was a hole in the formation.

Back to the meat: But I think the writer needs to look deeper into her subject matter - there is a lot more that we can learn from the Korean music industry than pure fabrication. Marketing strategies, training methods, artiste management, production techniques, etc. And might I add, that fabrication alone, would save the music markets of the rest of the world.

See what Lee Soo Man would say about fabrication, excuse me, I mean, Culture Technology

But even more important than me ranting about this article is the thought, "Straits Times got nothing else to print is it?!"

It is a good opinion piece, but it belongs in a blog. Unless ST wants to turn itself from news source into blog, I say that the editors at ST are seriously lacking editorial foresight. Take a cue (clue?) from NYT, please.

Anyways, that's enough rant for the day. I've still got dinner to go to later. Need to save my energy.

2011-12-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

GURH!

I have the sudden urge to kick/punch something/someone!

I was thinking about what my plans are this Saturday and all I want to do is to see the following item in my planner:

Coffee at Coffee Girl

The problem? Coffee Girl is in SEOUL!!

*keysmash*

Say Goodbye

2011-12-02T17:22:00.000+08:00

I guess life is like that - you get a really high high, and then you're presented with a really low low.

I'm playing my Soothe Your Soul playlist right now, and there can only be two reasons I'm playing it - I have a lot of work to do and I need soothing music accompaniment, or I'm depressed.

Today it's the latter.

And it kinda ties in with the high I blogged about a few days ago, which makes everything a bummer. Or not, I dunno.

There have been a lot of instances where I've felt like I don't matter to anyone. And while I've been able to brush this aside pretty damn well (aside from me ranting here, of course), it doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me at all.

So, every once in a while (okay every single time) I feel like I've been used and underappreciated, I rant. Here.

This outlet has served me well and good so far. So here goes.

For three years, I've put in my hard work, but today it seems like I've been made a clown for it. I've been fighting for what I believe I deserve, but somehow, I guess I've wasted all that time fighting. Because it was not enough.

It was never enough in the first place. I tried to grow and develop, I tried to expand and diversify and while I have been given little opportunities here and there, everything can be taken away from me with one simple decision.

It's just business. I get it. I'm ruthless too. But I cannot help but feel angry. It's a natural reaction, I suppose.

Angry at the situation, of which I have no control over. My voice doesn't make a significant enough difference, you see. (And that is why my life's goal is to always make sure that I make a difference.)

Angry at myself, because I'm wondering if I have made a wise decision for myself three years ago. I have learnt some, but I have always been hungry for more. What can I say? I'm very ambitious, and I am very confident of myself. Did my decision allow me growth? Was I silly to put faith in that decision and then to hope for the best?

The thing is, we never know what the future holds, so we have to go with the flow. Whatever comes, we have to deal with it.

But I've been getting very tired of ranting like this lately. Ok fine, for some time now.

I'm not being heard. I'm simply taking my displeasure out on a keyboard and screaming at a computer screen that won't answer me nor give me any solutions or lend some much-needed comforting words.

And so here it comes.

The good news for me is that I am getting away from everything - from the fake concern, from the pathetic attempts of pats on my back, telling me things like, "Your time will come." and "It's not as wonderful where I'm at, like you think". Away from the schemes of the leaders trying to mask supremacy attempts with weak gibberish. Away from this painted picture of green fields that only allows space for people who are colourblind and can only accept green.

Sometimes I don't even know if I should be happy with what I can get, or if I should fight for what is right.

The bad news is that I suddenly feel like I handed my self-worth on a platter to everything I was fighting against. I feel like "Goodbye" will be met with "Who cares?"

And while I've prepared myself for that reply, again, it doesn't mean that it will not affect me at all.

The statement I wanted to make with my goodbye now feels like an effort in vain.

Perhaps I'm thinking too much. It is December, after all. The month I loathe the most, because it is the month when the fake make their comeback in the worst way possible - gifts and wishes to everyone and anyone just because.

But my intuition is always right. Always.

만약 외롭다고 느낀다면 뒤돌아봐요
지금 혼자라서 슬프다면 뒤돌아 봐요

니가 힘들때나 슬플때
외로워 할때도 또 이별 앓고서
아파할때도 니 눈물 닦아준

D-182

While You Were Dreaming

2011-11-28T17:50:00.001+08:00

You know how you've wanted something so bad, and worked so hard for it and then you never expected it but all that hard work paid off and you got that something?

Did I make sense? Was I coherent?

Cos right now, I think my mind is still in a mess. It's been about five days since I received the news but I'm somehow still.... in a place where I think I must be dreaming.

GURH.

But I need to keep my feet on the ground.

It is already D-186.

111119 SUPER SHOW 4 SEOUL

2011-11-27T19:04:00.002+08:00

One of the things I have on my bucket list can now be ticked off. I might have a whole lot more things on my bucket list, but I think I may just die happy having fulfilled this one item. Lol.

Last week, I watched Super Junior in concert. In Seoul. Super Junior Super Show 4 World Tour in Seoul. It was their first show of their world tour - yup, you read that right, no more Asian tour, them boys are poised for world domination now - and it was memorable not because I was watching my fav boys on home ground. It was memorable because this time, we didn't have any fancams of previous tour stops for reference - everything was a surprise.

Thr first surprise of the evening was me and my sis getting front row seats. Yup, you read that right again. Front row seats, baby! We didn't even think we'd be that close to the stage. We received our tickets from the tour guide, went in, asked the usher where our seats were, and were kinda glad that our seats looked like they would give us a good view.

Then we walked down. And down. And even further down. OMG. Did we just get the front seats?! The first thought that ran through my head was, "I think I just died and gone to heaven." They were the best ever seats to have gotten - the stage and set in plain view right in front of us.

After we got over the initial shock, we scrutinised the set. This time, there was no revolving stage, but we spotted tracks. OMG. A moving stage?! Come on over, boys! Not only was the stage on tracks, there were tracks in front of the second storey of seats - so the boys could reach out to the fans at the back. There were the usual pop up from underground boxes - but this time we were thinking, "Who's gonna pop up in front of me?!" Lol. The other thing different about the set this time around were the cranes - they lifted the boys right up in your face, haha.

Super Show 4 was four very entertaining hours long, but I think my mind went blank during the concert. It's one thing to dream about something, but quite another to be experiencing the dream coming alive right in front of your eyes, literally.

The boys put up an awesome show - and "awesome" is a gross understatement. This time, the boys showed a more mature side of themselves. No more water guns, no more throwing sweaty towels, no more boys dressed up as fruits or animals. They still had dorky fun segments, but that was kept to a minimum.

Instead, they chose to utilise the set to bring out their performances, and they chose to put up a concert that was not for 14-year teenage fangirls. It was refreshing to see the boys allow themselves to grow up and mature - they are after all, in their mid- to late twenties.

Almost everyone had a solo stage and they were able to show off their talents - playing the piano, saxophone, keyboard, harmonica, guitar, dancing a routine they choreographed themselves, singing songs they composed themselves or just standing there and singing without any frills. While it is indeed a teeny bit try-too-hard like all the other boybands out there, I appreciate these stages because it is quite a feat to want to be recognised for your own talent in a group as large as Super Junior. I guess because of their experience, the company allowed them to finally break out of their boyband formula and show the world why they survived their company's audition in the first place.

For me, the concert had two highlights. First, the acapella segment. The boys stripped down all the frills and slick dance moves, sat on stools and serenaded the audience with a little known song, "Lovely Day". It was like magic - and you never even thought SuJu was capable of that. It was beautiful to sit through that and feel your heart swell with pride and your skin tingle with good goosebumps, because at that point, you were able to feel the boys' ardous journey to the top. Being number one is never easy, even though they make it look so.

Lovely Day

The second highlight was the last song. They sang the Korean version of "Destiny", which was only released in the SuJu-M mini-album earlier this year. Their two SuJu-M members, Zhoumi and Henry, participated in this song too, and suddenly you felt that SuJu was complete. Sure, two of them are in the military, one left, and one is on hiatus, but before this, Zhoumi and Henry were usually cast aside and only taken out of the closet for SuJu-M-related activities and promotions. It felt as if SuJu was now one, singing one song, and telling their fans that this is the way it was meant to be all along.

Destiny - there are no good fancams of this song, so here's the audio of the original Chinese version

The other parts of the concert that I got excited about mainly involved pretty stage lighting, pretty ballads, or pretty boys looking all suave and hot. Haha.

Y

The set is amazingly chic - I never thought they'd do this song this way. Love the props and the lighting. Kudos to Donghae for writing such a good song.

Storm

K.R.Y.S.D. - the singers of the group. They've done such arrangements before, but this time, the background suited the song well, and I loved the simplicity of it.

Walkin' - no good fancams of the first show, so it's a recording from the second show

One of my favourite songs off the fifth album - and I love the use of the treadmills and the various scenery in the background. A tad cheesy, but the flying bicyle added a fun element. Nice touch with the birds, too.

Kiss Me Darling

This is me being biased. I can't make out what Yesung is singing cos his pronunciation is horrible, but oh wells. I still love him.

VCR in New York - the best vid I could find. TT

One of the prettiest pre-song vids of the night. I want to run into that boy coming out of the cab. Can?

Opening VCR

The VCR that got everyone all excited - the show begins now!

A-Cha

One of the first few songs of the night - and great use of the moving and lifting stage. Oh, let's not forget the water fountains too.

Mr. Simple - again, the second show's fancams are better

Why would I leave this song out of my hightlights list? It's the title song of this tour. :)

Needless to say, we had a great time at the concert. In my best concerts list, Super Show 4 goes right below Jason Mraz's concert in Singapore in 2009. Nothing beats watching one of your fav bands playing their first show of their first world tour on home ground. The memory is etched in my mind and heart, even as I am looking forward to watching the boys during the Singapore leg next year.

Thank you, God, for this wonderful opportunity. <3

See you again soon, boys!

PS See more photos here!

--------------------

Since I'm on it, let's document our other fangirl encounters.

We went thrice to Handel & Gretel and this time I talked to his little bro! Ish.

The first time we went, it was too crowded so we got some snacks from Holly's and went back instead. We stopped by Sukira, but the boys (Leeteuk and Eunhyuk) were not on - they probably were too tired from the concert that night. The second time was with the tour group, and it was still too crowded so we had supper at Coffee Girl. We tried our luck with Sukira again, but again it was a no-show.

Before going off however, I somehow managed to pull some courage outta somewhere, walked into the cafe past all the fangirls who was wondering who the hell I was to walk right up to the counter like that, and asked Yesung's lil' bro, "내일 아침에 몇 시에 문을 열어요?" I asked him what time the cafe would open the next morn. He told me about eight. I kinda spazzed once I was out of the cafe. Haha.

Our plan was to visit the cafe the next morn since we had some time before heading to the airport.

Handel & Gretel was pleasantly empty in the early morn. We managed to enjoy our toast, milk and latte. However, that pleasant-ness started dissipating once more fans came in. It wasn't so bad, though, until the Chinese fans came and starting making noise.

My sis made new friends from Japan - I asked two fans to come in and sit at our table since they were about to settle for a table outside. It was freezing outside! It turns out they were Japanese and so we now have Japanese friends, Yuri and Kumiko! :)

Before we left, I dragged my sister to the counter so she could give the print she drew of the boys to JOngjin (that's his bro's name). Well, I did most of the talking, and most of the time, the adorbable boy looked like he couldn't believe I was talking to him. Boy, it's kinda the other way round, really, lol.

<3

It won't be long now.

2011-11-21T16:50:00.000+08:00

Last week was my third time back in Seoul and I am still discovering new sights, sounds, smells and experiences.

One, the crazy temperature drop. Sub-zero temperatures are not friendly but I think I am slowly getting accustomed to it.

Two, the tourist restaurants. This time I went on a tour package and for our meals, we were sent to Korean restaurants that served only tour groups. Even outside of Singapore, I couldn't get away from PRCs.

Three, the ginseng museum and beauty product showroom built only to fleece tourist dollars. Only the not-so-savvy would buy so many boxes of ginseng capsules and beauty product gift sets.

Four, the way I am able to always get my way if it is a reasonable request and I am firm enough in asking for it. We didn't follow the tour group much, and that resulted in us being able to avoid queueing in the cold for three hours for no SuJu merchandise. We also managed to have another free day which we used to visit Garosugil (which we have not seen enough of the last time we were here) and to rest well before Super Show 4.

Five, the way I am getting more and more confident of staying in an unfamiliar place alone. I spoke a lot more Korean this time. I also managed to used the time the tour guide gave us to shop to instead visit other places that were more interesting.

I think I've cleared about half of the sightseeing spots in Seoul but I am always ready for more. This time we got to see N Seoul Tower in the night. We also got to visit Cheonggyecheon (Cheonggye Stream) - we walked along it as well as visited the Lantern Festival.

The only disappointment was Lotte World. It was way smaller than I thought it would be and we weren't very interested in the rides. We took two very safe rides. There were tons of teenagers on dates there and if I were to be asked out on a date to Lotte World, "No," would be the last word I would ever say to that guy.

Six, how I wish Starbucks in Singapore served in "short" and not only "tall" and "grande". Seriously, it would allow me to have coffee in the noon!

Seven, how much I love taking my time and not having to rush here, there and everywhere. I like being busy, but I also like being able to be busy on my own terms. Mok Eun aka Mr. Stable (kya kya) made me see that I must continue chasing my dreams. Even if I get scared and even when I lose faith, I must search for my courage and not let myself down.

And right now as I am writing this, I am wishing against reality that I will not be going back to my hotel in a while to start packing my bags. I want to stay at Coffee Girl, enjoy my cake and watch the world go by. I want to stay in Seoul to start a new life and carve a new side to my identity. I want to stay here and now, away from the prison that my passport calls home.

But I must return. It is the only way to move forward. I need to go back so that I can continue to take small steps forward for myself and for the ones I love.

So once again, goodbye Seoul, for now. Please wait patiently till I get to say again, "Goodnight Singapore, Goodmorn, Seoul."

Love always.

PS Super Show 4 review + photos coming soon. Again, don't hold your breath.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T17:31:00.002+08:00

So I've been busy.

Very busy.

But I guess 11.11.11 deserves its own post.

About what, I'm not sure yet.

Today is one of those days I have a lot of things to do, but since I'm on a roll, I'm down to my last task of the day already.

I meant to blog about K-pop (yes, again) a few days ago, but somehow the thought found its way into the dusty corner of my brain.

What was it about? Oh, just how scary it is that K-pop is expanding so huge so quickly. World concerts, award shows in the region, and a Kpop section in Yahoo News. I mean, it's all well and good, since I like (good) K-pop, but I don't want it to be a passing trend. Good music should never just be a passing trend. :/

I'm not excited about my trip next week yet, and I'm guessing it is because quite a few people know about it. I dunno, I feel like it's more exciting if I just disappear without anyone knowing.

Damn. I'm now finished with my tasks today.

Yup, this post is full of gibberish and random-ness that only comes when it's 11.11.11.

It really doesn't mean anything, except that it's Peppero Day in Korea - a Korean V-Day of sorts - but I suppose 11.11.11 doesn't come every so often. Perhaps once in a lifetime, yeah?

Alrighty. I am ending with TRAX's brand new track, Blind. Very nice melodic pop-rock there.

TRAX - Blind

Hello November thoughts.

2011-11-01T17:38:00.002+08:00

Am I stupid or what?!

The results date is looming - seriously, it will come before I even know it - and what am I searching for online? How to apply for Leave of Absence.

Gurh. But to tell the truth, it is in line with what I planned out.

I am supposed to take a leave of absence to start looking for a job right?

I've actually started sending resumes. Okay. Two. But that's better than nothing.

Thing is, I know job hunting is tough, but not this tough. I mean, I've been through the whole jig. Sent out 100 resumes before I got this wonderful job, got discriminated against because of my race (yes, it is a constant blob in my memory), been on quite a few interviews and done quite a few tests, changed around jobs quite a bit.

But the Korean job market isn't as friendly to foreigners (unlike ours). Unless you want to be an English teacher. Which is a path I am willing to consider if it will get me to where I want to be eventually.

I just finished (or rather, just finished with) reading this blog about a Singaporean lady who upped and went to stay in Korea. And her motivation? 2AM.

I'm sorry to say this, but that is quite loser-ish. But then again, who am I to say that eh? I'm stopping a bit to think about my own motivations, and I can't say that I'm much different.

Okay, I am not going to Korea because I think I will somehow bump into the man of my dreams in Korea. Who happens to be from Super Junior. Or that I will somehow land a nice plump job as a manager in an entertainment company. And I will be at the centre of digital music development in Asia. Right.

No, I was totally not thinking that.

But my motivation, I can safely say, doesn't sway towards the winner-ish side, either. The main reason I want to go to Korea is because I want to get out of here. Korea just happens to be because.

Not that here is terrible. I have a nice family (although my mom can sometimes convince me otherwise), I have a beautiful job that I can show off about (haha, yes I am talking to you, you pathetic IT professionals and civil servants with sad pretend social lives), and I am perfectly comfortable here.

Except, I don't like being comfortable. I need to be challenged. I need excitement.

And that's not to say I'm way comfortable here either. I hate the government. I hate how we have all been conditioned to believe that money is everything. I hate how I am expected to conform or die here.

And from my recent trip to Seoul, I did consider the negative consequences that might occur if I were to move there.

But honestly, now that I've had the time to type this out and to consider why on earth I am doubting my decisions and plans, I'm back to being normal again.

All I need to do is to take one step at a time.

It's not like I am not working hard to change my life. I've sent in my applications, I'm now searching for jobs in Korea, I'm turning that idea into reality slowly and steadily.

All I need now is my admission results and then I need to think about if I want to up and go do the language course or if I want to simply go on here for a while longer while I sort things out and go for a language course later on.

Gurh. Sometimes when you've got no support, you've got to keep the rah-rah in your head going. I think I've lost count of the number of times I've blogged about this theme.

Sheesh.

2011 월간 윤종신 11월호 - 늦가을

2011-10-30T17:33:00.002+08:00

Because the Korean lyrics are so beautifully penned

옷장을 열어 보았어
몇 벌이 눈에 띄었어
조금 이른 것 같지만 입었어
거울 앞 내 모습은 그때 그 모습
싸늘해서 더 좋았어
골목은 해가 지려해
커피향이 그 때로 날 데려가
쇼윈도우 겨울옷을 바라보던 그 때로
그래 너였어 날 데리고 나온 건
내 주머니 속 내 손을 꼭 잡던
그 해 늦가을의 너
이젠 어디를 걷니
너의 발소리가 그리워
바람을 마셔보았어
가슴도 보고파해서
한결 나아진 가슴은 재촉해
힘든 밤이 오기 전에 돌아 가자고
그래 너였어 날 데리고 나온 건
내 주머니 속 내 손을 꼭 잡던
그 해 늦가을의 너 이젠
어디를 걷니 너의 발소리가 그리워
그래 너였어 가을을 가르쳐준
갈색 그리움이 끝이 없는 밤
다가올 내 겨울을 이제 준비해야 해
밤이 길고 긴 내 겨울을
니가 너무 많은 내 겨울을

What Ifs Like These Must Not Happen

2011-10-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

Ok, so while I am waiting for good things to come, let's talk about the potential of good things to come. Aka let's daydream.

Last month, at Yesung's cafe, I did not get a chance to see him. He didn't come by the cafe when I was there. His mom was around though, and my own mom egged me on to go say hi to her.

Which I so would not do ever. It may sound harmless - Hi, I am a fan of your son - but after how I reacted to meeting Jason Mraz - Please don't stop writing music or else I will die - I know I should never, ever approach any person I admire.

But then when I got home, Yesung decided that he had lots of free time (which is a good thing for any of the SuJu boys) and helped out at his cafe quite a few times during the week.

Fans were present, of course, and I was somewhat envious. They took pictures of him at the cashier and stuff and my mom again decided that it was one of those times for her to start repeating "I told you so."

I know, I told you so what, right? Well, I am baffled myself. I guess she thought that I would be able to meet Yesung somehow in the future if I said hi to his mom then.

But I know, even if it was Yesung himself, I wouldn't have the guts to say hi to him. I wouldn't even acknowledge his presence.

Partly cos I am shy that way. And partly cos I pity his lack of privacy. I don't know, if it were me, I would really appreciate people acting normal about me instead of making a fuss about it. By fuss, I mean flash photography and noise.

I guess that is what any idol signs up for, but I still think there needs to be a line drawn. They are still people, right?

And the last part - I am still a huge believer of fate. If things are meant to be, they will be. If I am meant to meet someone I admire, it will happen like the way it did with Mraz - naturally.

Not me staking out at a cafe and trying to catch glances with Yesung's lil' bro. Tempting idea, though, if I can get over the psychotic undertones of it.

So anyway, the point of this entry? None, haha.

I was just daydreaming and wondering how I would react if I indeed met Yesung. Lol.

Yes, I am a fangirl. Sue me.

And I am also bored on the MRT. Go figure.

Ok, time to get back to my homework - yes, smartphone + long periods of time = need to find something to do to be productive.

Cheerios.

The rest of A-Cha

2011-10-25T17:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, this is rather late, but here's my take on the new(-ish) songs on the repackaged Super Junior album, A-Cha.

I had the post halfway done before I left for Seoul, and then other things were more important to write about.

Sorry. So let's get down to it.

"Oops!" is lots of fun! Love the answer-back formula used for this song. The tongue-in-cheek lyrics also make everything a little less serious. It is nice to see the boys let go, and just be the dorky boys that they are. Also loving the addition of f(X) - sassy!

"A Day". Ok, no, wait. The title sounds so much nicer in Korean. 하루에 (Haru-e). This song is beautiful - it moved my heart a little when I first heard and and have yet to figure out what the lyrics mean. Now, that's quite a feat. It means that they boys have managed to use their voices to express a song like that very well.

My favourite part of the song is the end - when the arrangement reaches a beautiful climax and then ends in an acapella of sorts. It may sound abrupt for a lot of other songs, but it works like magic on this one.

Leetuek writes very pretty ballads. Like "Andante". In the previous album, he co-wrote "All My Heart", which is my fav track off the album. "Andante" is like a slightly less full version of "All My Heart" - I suppose because this time, only K.R.Y. plus Donghae and Sungmin are featured in it. I still like this song very much - it shows that Leetuk is carving his own sound and maybe in the future he might just be the go-to for sweet, pretty ballads in K-pop.

P.S. He wrote a song for his reel wife, Kim Sora, and it sounds just as pretty. I think Leetuek's earnestness and innocence shines in his ballads. <3So that's that. Whew. Four stylish, beautifully arranged tracks (including A-Cha) that gave the album an upgrade.

There's a significant improvement since the last two albums - and I love listening to muscial growth. Well done, SuJu, especially since you guys had a hand in writing and producing some of the tracks.

Now, on to the next wait - Super Show 4! *shriek*

No kids, please.

2011-10-21T15:28:00.001+08:00

So today the trains haven't annoyed me. Yet. And I am typing this as a rush of passengers enter from the forever-crowded Eunos station.

Don't think this good feeling will stay this way today, seeing as I have a bit of work to clear later. And it's Friday. TT

Had dinner with Bec and Jac again on Wednesday. And with Geraldine last week. The common thread? Kids.

Not that I am gonna have one anytime soon. Or ever.

It's just that it is the time of our lives where people start talking about families.

The most memorable part of each conversation?

To Geraldine: I hate kids. They all look the same and none of them look cute to me. I do feel kinda disappointed in myself cos I don't have that feeling that others have towards children, but I think it is safe to conclude that I think children will not enhance my life.

To Jac and Bec: If I have a kid, he or she can jolly well enter whatever school there is to enter. No volunteering from me or me having to seek out some expensive elite school for him or her. No easy life for my kid - he or she needs to learn resilience.

Hahahahaha.

Well, I am not ready for a kid! And so shouldn't anyone else be if they are still going for gelish manicures (waste of time and money) or if they are thinking of overseas holidays!

I no longer believe in the one-day-I-want-to-be-married-and-have-kids strain of thought. I used to think that way, but now that I am older and wiser, I also know that I am selfish that way.

As I am typing this, a kid is shaking his rattle. It annoys me and I can't enjoy my music without interruption. If that were my kid, I'd have already smacked him till he bawled, dragged him out of the train and left him with the station control. I am not kidding. Kids should not be conspicuous. They should shut themselves up and listen.

See? I totally do not have the motherly genes.

And another matter that irks me is how parents, especially Asian parents, expect their kids to repay them in old age.

Yes, we should be grateful to our parents cos it is not easy being a parent. In Singapore, it means wiping out your life savings for something that you cannot guarantee.

But that don't mean the parents get to turn into children as soon as they reach 50.

They are perfectly capable of living their lives and being independent, but they act as if their children owe them a debt of slavery.

If you are gonna start blaming your kids for your lost youth, freedom and wealth when you get old, then you have not thought thoroughly about the consequences of having children.

So. I will not subject myself to such circumstances. I ain't gonna put myself on a pedestal and be some supermom with grand dreams for her kids. I don't. I have grand dreams for myself.

Don't be hating on me. This is just my decision. You go ahead and have kids. I ain't stopping you. You have the right to that decision.

Just as I have the right to my own thoughts and opinions, alright? ;)

Happy Friday.

May I send you my resume, sir?

2011-10-17T17:44:00.002+08:00

I like this interview: Lee Soo Man

I may not like the SM Entertainment handling of a lot of things and them acting as if the entire world owes them, but I have to take my hat off for Mr. Lee.

I love how he stands strong by his vision and how he is able to make me see the things he has done for SME from his point of view.

I may not agree with the slave contracts and the mad hours my boys are put through, but I have to admit, Mr. Lee has a point about the investment bit.

He is genius in making culture into business. I wish I can work under him and learn everything he has to offer for the music industry.

It is much different from the type of business we have been exposed to, and the type of artist management style is different too. (I would not sign a 13-year contract for ANYTHING.)

My favourite bits:

About Culture Technology:
“The IT (information technology) industry is often said to be a high risk-high profit industry. However, CT is an industry with an even bigger risk-profit ratio. In an industry like this, the most important thing is to avoid things that happen by chance or only once. To give an example, a talented artisan possesses pottery making skills that are unrivaled by anyone. His skills lie in his sense of touch and his fingertips. If you want to learn these skills, you have no choice but to train under him. However, if this skill can be written out carefully and taught to the disciples, and if he could pass this skill down successfully and receive copyright fees – this could become an industry. This is what SM Entertainment is trying to do. Whatever skills I, or one of our employees possess, are written out and passed down through training and education. Only then can something become continuous. If this kind of system cannot be established, everything will only have happened by chance and end as a one-time occurrence.”

I learnt about culture technology in class, but I think Mr. Lee has summed up beautifully what it is about. The idea of it is brilliant, but even more so the implementation of it. *in awe*

About breaking the US market:
“No, it’s not like that. Rather than venturing into the U.S., we are just holding a concert as a consolation for the people we consider a part of an imaginary country called SM TOWN. The markets of China and Asia will be bigger than the U.S. market. Thus, it isn’t really necessary to go into the U.S. In the near future, when a ‘Hollywood of Asia’ appears, the cultural center of the world will make a big shift to Asia. Asian songs are not well known in the U.S.? Totally irrelevant because Asia will soon become the center.”

Very bold, and very frank. Both traits I aim to foster in myself. Everyone talks as if the US/Westernisation is the way to go. While some Western traits will help Asian culture, it's time for an Asian Revolution. Mr. Lee talks as if he don't give two hoots about the Western music industry, they're gonna come knocking on his door in due time.

Mr. Lee, may I please be your disciple?

Twiddling my Thumbs. Not.

2011-10-17T17:21:00.001+08:00

What a sunny Monday it is. Loves it much!

It is about a month and a week until I receive results for admission for one of the universities I applied for.

The wait feels really long (made longer by another wait happening concurrently - D32) at the moment.

And long waits make me get cold feet.

Suddenly I don't feel especially confident of myself surviving in a land where I can barely speak the language. Of being alone despite being alone where I'm at already. Of not achieving what I set out to do.

I guess reality checks do this - they tell you exactly what ypu cannot possibly do.

But even as I am typing this, I feel some sort of renewed faith. Like I can do this. And do this well.

I guess clear objectives and good plans do this - they help you push on even in the most negative circumstances.

And so here's a temporary plan for survival:
- Defer entry to the programme upon successful admission, perhaps by a year or two max.
- Sign up for a language course in the summer, three months is much easier to uproot myself for versus two years or more.
- Try to find a job in Korea - send in as many resumes to as many companies that are relevant, even if it means another 100 resumes before I find a good job. Keep in mind that deadline for starting a new job is between August to September. Ideal to start in October. Be prepared to change all plans if a job offer comes knocking. Don't hope for too much.
- Go ahead with that idea - that means all the way, including business plan, marketing plan, financial plan, research and beta implementation. Timeline. Deadline is January or February next year.

Haha. Nope, I can't sit still. After my sked has been cleared of the applications brouhaha, I'm filling it up to the brim again.

Ambitions call, and of course, I admit. The most compelling reason for which I am planning all these dreams is simply because I want to get out of this godforsaken place.

Wish me luck.

Songs on the Radio

2011-10-14T16:04:00.002+08:00

Just so you know that I am trying my best to listen to everything else other than Kpop, here's what's new in my playlist.

Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

Selena Gomez & The Scene - Love You Like A Love Song

And so. Uh. Back to the Kpop.

Even though I am an avid hater of SNSD, I am anticipating their comeback next week. I haven't scrutinised any teaser images nor videos, but they have been signed to Universal Music in the US. Let's see if they can do what the Wonder Girls failed to do. Not holding my breath.

The comeback I am holding my breath for is Secret's. They've decided to go back to being femme fatales after two rounds of retro cute chic, and I welcome it. Cos they actually (ok, two out of four) have the sexy butts to shake and pull off hip gyrations ala Shakira and Beyonce.

And respect to them for going head-to-head with SNSD. All other groups have decided to delay their comebacks cos they don't want to go against nine skinny girls who can't sing nor dance.

You go, Secret!

Check back for updates next week. ;)

Seoul Playlist

2011-10-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

So. I haven't had Korean food since I got back from Seoul two Saturdays ago. Not happy.

Gonna open that packet of kimchi I took off the plane home. Tonight.

Anyways, it ain't difficult for you to tell that I miss Seoul terribly.

So here's a playlist of songs that I kept hearing while I was up and about in Seoul.

Huh Gak - Hello

This beat my boys' A-Cha! Which is all well and good, cos this is a good song. I guess people started to get in the mood for autumn ballads.

Which explains the next song.

Sung Shi Kyung - Even Now

And the next song.

Davichi - Don't Say Goodbye

I didn't hear a lot of idol group songs, except for Kara's comeback track, Step.

It is a good song, I only wish the girls who sing it don't look that stupid and out of place. But that's what drives the industry - crap music sung by girls who don't look the least bit like they know what they are doing.

Kara - Step

Brown Eyed Girls -Sixt Sense

This is another sing ruined by bad concept and imaging.

The girls want to give off a sexy powerful vibe, but it ends up being a bit tasteless.

And their track reminds me of Christina Aguilera. She started with this concept, so it is sadly a case of too little too late for BEG.

I am very pleased though, to hear a lot of 2NE1 playing everywhere. My girls have stopped pomotions in Korea for some time now, but a lot of their songs, old and new, were playing everywhere.

See? This is how true musical genius and passion works. And you don't even need hot pants or large boobs for it.

2NE1 - I Am The Best

Of course.

Someone brimg me back home please!!

서울 (Seoul) Part Deux

2011-10-03T23:36:00.001+08:00

I am back!!

As what Daphne greeted me with this morn, I am back in sucky Singapore. Haha.

I made another trip to Korea last week with my mom and sis - kinda in "stealth" cos I didn't tell many people about it. I dunno, I guess I didn't want to draw any unnecessary questions from people I don't care about.

That aside, Seoul and Jeju in 8 to 9 days would've, should've been enough. But as good as plans go, things never turn out the way they do. Please remind me never, ever to take a trip with my mother ever again. I mean it. We just have too different personalities to be able to holiday happily together. It is too stressful and too painful to holiday with my mother because... Well.

Because I like getting lost and she doesn't. I like having a free spirit when I am travelling and she doesn't. I like long walks around the city and she likes tours. I like finding my way around the subways and alleyways and she likes to hop on a tour bus to take her from A to B. I like budget travelling and she likes spacious hotel rooms with soap and shampoo you can pack back home. I like discovering new things at new places and she likes someone to hold her hand to and through each tourist attraction.

You get the drift.

Now that the ranting's out of the way, let's talk about the trip itself.

Going back to Seoul this time, it felt different. It didn't feel like I was going on holiday. It felt like I was going back home.

Plus, I noticed all the bad bits about the city that would make life more miserable there than living in Singapore. Which is quite a mean feat, since I am definitely not happy here.

I know that sounds strange, but I guess because I hope to make Seoul my home in the near future, the way I felt about the place got influenced by that hope.

Taking the plane (kudos to Malaysia Air for the enormous amount of leg room, halal food and the unbiased crew), I didn't feel excited until I landed and collected my luggage from the carousel.

And immediately after that, I fell ill (no kudos to Malaysia Air for bad cabin pressure control). That kinda brought a damper, but I suppose that was part of how I was meant to live my life in Seoul. I didn't get well throughout and I am still sick today.

No matter, I thought. Sipping my breakfast latte at Paris Baguette felt right. My uncle was right - this feels like home.

The weather in Seoul this time was erratic. The last time I was there, it was freezing. This time, it was sometimes warm and sometimes cold. That did not help my flu, but again, I suppose that is good practice to get used to the weather. I do not like the cold weather that is characteristic of Seoul. Neither do I like the humidity levels of Singapore. But weather is a slight inconvenience to any lifestyle - we are built to adapt, so adapt I will.

Another inconvenience was having absolutely no mobile phone connection. People may say that we are all addicted to technology, but we can't escape from the way our lives have changed due to convenient connectivity.

Korea uses the CDMA system (and just launched 4G), while Singapore uses the GSM system (and is still struggling to establish fibre optic cable-esque speeds for residents). I should have rented a phone from the airport but what use would that be if the people I needed to keep in contact with were using phones that didn't work?

It was more important to be able to communicate with the Koreans cos I still needed to eat and sleep. And I am glad my two years' worth of Korean classes didn't go completely to waste! I am still horribly bad at the language (even though taxi drivers and a former lecturer said that I could speak well, yarrite) but I was able to understand and speak Korean a wee bit better than I thought I could! Haha, self-praise.

The other not-so-nice thing about Seoul is the congestion - people and traffic. Subways are packed, the roads are forever jammed and there are twice as many people in Seoul than in Singapore. (FYI Seoul is slightly smaller than Singapore.)

But what is a city with too much space, eh? We would call it the countryside if that was the case. Even though there is a sizable number of expats in Seoul, at least it isn't infested with PRCs. Yet.

I met and got re-acquainted with a few people this time, and it certainly felt like I was simply meeting friends after work or during the weekend.

I visited 가로수길 (Garosugil) thanks to Liting's recommendation. We had a yummy 찜닭 (jjim dak - chicken and clear noodles in soy sauce) dinner there. She pointed out the not-so-desirable bits about life in Seoul and kinda that kept my feet on the ground.

And then she did something that I am extremely appreciative of. She re-connected me with a former lectuerer from NUS, Dr. Shim.

Meeting Dr. Shim again was nice and I am grateful for his advice. He pointed out what would work and what wouldn't if I were to up and have a go at life in Seoul. While I felt my feet getting further tied to the ground, I am still excited by the possibilities.

One more thing I discovered this time in Seoul was that even after a year and a half, things could stay the same. 목은 (Mok Eun) is still busy with his work and still knocking off at 10.30 pm everyday. He's also the same playful dude I first met at iPark five years ago. We still talk as if we were idealistic 22-year-olds dreaming of a better life outside castle walls. As if time didn't tick forward and as if life didn't happen.

But of course, life did happen and time did pass more quickly than we felt it did. I only wish the best for him. Till we meet again.

Perhaps I should start considering moving in a parallel fashion across borders. Warner Music Korea doesn't sound too bad. That's where I met 중석 (Nathan) and his friends, 우태 (Woo Tae) and 민규 (Min Kyu). They are a nice bunch of guys but I guess our lunch was too short to establish any kind of connection beyond the perfunctory nice-to-meet-you.

Meeting up with Daphne, though, was refreshing. Outside the confines of work and Singapore, we found comfort sipping our hot chocolates in deserted 명동 (Myeongdong), chatting about how we don't want to leave Seoul.

They call it 인연 (fate), and I kinda agree. The concert my sis and I were psyched up about got cancelled at the last minute. No SuJu normally puts me into depression (haha, yes I am exaggerating) but I got to know a very humble and kind lady through this incident. She went out of the way to ensure that we got our refund back and it was heartwarming to get to know someone else who faced the exact same problems at work as you do, half the globe away. 미아 (Mia), thank you and 화이팅 (fighting)!

As much as I'd like to make Seoul my home, I am skeptical as to whether it would actually happen before I reach 30. It is stressful to put a deadline on a plan like this, but it is more difficult to make it happen if I only talk about it.

So I submitted my graduate school applications to Korea and Hanyang University. (Side note: It costs less than S$12 to send two heavy packages on registered express-within-the-day domestic mail in Seoul. How cheap and effecient!) I don't know what the outcome will be and if I will be able to carry through with my dreams, but I am afraid to think too far nor too much about it.

But of course, the trip wasn't just to build my network or to apply for graduate school. I had lots of fun, too!

If you've been following my rants, you'd know that I haven't shopped nor enjoyed myself very much for the past year or two.

So I kinda went crazy shopping in Seoul. How can a girl not, when everything's pretty and affordable? I blew my budget by about S$300 but that is okay. I bought a few things for my sister and a lot of other people. Plus, looking at the amount of things I bought (clothes, shoes, bags, beauty products, CDs, merchandise and everything in between), you'd think my expenditure was justified too.

The item(s) for which I am most happy to have bought? Three boxes of groceries (chips, Peppero, Choco Pies, ramyeon, curry, porridge) that we hauled from Lotte Mart at Seoul Station to our hotel in Myeongdong. Muahaha. I think we have enough junk food to last till the end of the year.

And speaking about enough, I think I bought enough beauty goodies to last me till the end of next year! Not exaggerating.

(Side note: What is it about the snail cream? It seems to be the next big ingredient in beauty products - essence of snail. Eeew. No thanks.)

I also managed to try a lot more Korean food this time, since I am now able to say "돼지고기 싫어!" That means that I do not want pork. Yay!

Finally got to try 국수 (guksu), or soup noodles with chili paste thanks to Mok Eun. He helped us order 김치전 (kimchi pancake) too, and while I've tried that before, there 's nothing like having it in Korea itself.

And it's also thanks to him that we got to try street food! He ordered some Korean-style chicken kebabs for us, and it was kinda fun standing at the stall trying to make sure the sauce didn't drip on our clothes or feet!

Nathan took us to try Japanese food in Seoul, which was interesting, cos everything still tasted very Korean.

I took my mom to a Korean restaurant where they served traditional 비빔밥 (bibimbap) with all the 반찬 (banchan, or side dishes). The bill here came up to only 54,000￦ for five people. Cheap or what?!

We managed to find a noodle place where we got to try 비빔냉면 (bibimnaengmyeon, the noodle version of bibimbap). The next day we got to try fish stew (not my fav dish, but the fish was real fresh). I even managed to order 냉면 (naengmyeon, or cold noodles) on my last night!

But of course, it wasn't just about shopping and eating, the trip. We did some sightseeing too, though this time I was leading my mom and sis around.

I haven't got sick of walking around 세종로 (Sejongno) or 이화 (Ewha) yet. I still love weaving in and out of the alleyways of 인사동 (Insadong). I enjoyed experiencing the street performances and youthful vibe of 홍익 (Hongik). 남산 (Namsan) is still as pretty as ever, though it somehow felt a little more touristy this time around.

One of my favourite features about Seoul is the stunning backdrop of hills, mountains and greyish blue skies against the city buildings. While I am not a nature buff, I do like the serenity the scenery lends to the cityscape.

While the city is wonderful, this time I decided to explore further. My sis and I wanted to visit 쁘띠 프랑스 (Le Petit France), a village resort slightly outside of Seoul, in 경기도 (Gyeonggi-do). We managed to get on the Korail to 청평 (Cheongpyeong) but then we had no idea how to get to our destination. We asked around but apart from the Tourist Information Office, there was no one in sight to ask for more directions. So we headed back to Seoul to continue our shopping spree.

We spent two days in 제주도 (Jeju Island) and I thought it was a nice retreat from the busy city. It was a good idea to have booked a cab to take us around the island, because the tourist spots were not easy to get to on our own. It also kinda helped that I could help explain to the cabbies in Korean where we wanted to go to - we managed to cover most of the places we wanted to see.

They say that Jeju has an abundance of rocks, wind and ladies. And they weren't kidding. Caves, waterfalls, lalang fields, 한라산 (Mount Halla), beaches, blue seas - everything was picturesque and gorgeous.

My favourite place in Jeju has to be the 오설록 (O'Sulloc) tea plantation. There was a cafe there, and the tea-inspired menu was absolutely delicious. Green and black tea cakes, green tea ice cream and lattes. If I ever go back to Jeju, I would spend my time at this cafe.

The other cafes (among others - Angel-in-Us Coffee, Cafe 7gram, Dunkin Donuts, Baskin Robbins with yummy Pistachio Almond ice cream in 14 degree weather, etc) that I really liked was Handel and Gretel.

Haha. Ok. Fangirl alert. Handel and Gretel is a franchise, and one of the branches was newly-opened in July by my (other) fav SuJu boy, Yesung. It wasn't that easy to find the cafe, but it was worth the walk from 여의도 (Yeouido) station.

Handel and Gretel was actually much smaller than it looked like in pictures. But the size kinda made it special. It was quiant, cute and cosy. The decor was warm and inviting, like a little nook tucked in a cottage. Lovely.

The cafe serves coffee and sandwiches. What made it different was that every sandwich was freshly made. The ciabatta sandwiches weren't whipped out of the refridgerator upon order, and each order came with a serving of salad and chips. Splendid.

The only thing about Handel and Gretel that I found strange was the SuJu memorabilia all around. It is either a genius marketing ploy or Yesung's slightly narcissistic. I will go with the former. Or, the signed CDs, figurines and posters of himself could simply be his family's way of showing how proud they were of him.

But I still found it a wee bit strange. Just like how I found the SPAO store a teeny bit strange too. SPAO is the Korean equivalent of Giordano, except it is endorsed by Super Junior and Girls Generation. Our hotel's located in the same building as SPAO and it is definitely nice to be greeted in the morning and at night by my fav boys every single day. Giant posters, I mean, not the boys themselves. But I will take what I can get.

So anyway, SPAO had photo zones. You could take pictures of, and with, the posters of the idols on the walls. I guess I find this sort of thing weird cos I've been working in the music industry for some time and I've learned to appreciate these people as, well, people. They just have a job that requires them to be immortalized in the forms of posters, standees and other such paraphernalia.

On the top floor of SPAO is a merchandise store with more posters, framed and signed pictures, file folders, notebooks, mugs, etc of the S.M. Entertainment artistes. We had a lot of fun laughing away at the ridiculous prices of the useless things fans do not mind wasting money on. The store had everything except lightsticks, which is the only merchandise I would spend money on. Grr.

So that's that. Soon enough, it was time to go back to sucky Singapore. Seoul has been good to me so far, even though a lot of my plans got ruined this time yet again. (Damn you, SME!)

As if she knew I needed one last reminder to not let time pass too much before I return, I got to watch SuJu on TV the last night there! Thank you, God.

And thank you, Seoul. It was great to be back, and this time, to be able to take a step back to notice the inconveniences of city life there. I guess, like I mentioned earlier, I was looking out for signs that would put me off moving out of Singapore.

But even though I got acquainted with so many bad points about Seoul (read: same social problems as Singapore), I still find myself drawn to its beauty. I simply want to give myself a chance to get out of my comfort zone and to get out of this godforsaken place. And when I put my mind on something, I make sure I see it through.

I am not sure, though, when I will be back in Seoul. I don't want to expect too much out of my plans, but there's one thing I know - I already miss Seoul very much. And I hate being in Singapore very much.

Someday, my dreams will come true. I'm working towards that. Thank you, God for opening my eyes to the possibilities outside the confines of what I know here.

And thank you again, Seoul. It won't be too long, hopefully, before I return.

<3P.S. Photos on Facebook will be up soon. Don't hold your breath, though.Update: Photos here!

Jason Mraz - The World As I See It

2011-09-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

수퍼주니어 - 아차

2011-09-20T17:08:00.000+08:00

Just when I cleared my calendar of my boys' schedules, they decided to keep themselves in again this month.

Not that I'm complaining. ;)

The boys decided that they'd release their repackaged album this month, along with a brand new track for promo, A-Cha.

Don't ask about the title. Yes, it brings to mind everything else other than K-pop. Haha.

Super Junior - A-Cha

(Don't mind the audio quality - the management has taken effort to take down any uploads. GRR. *hates bad quality audio max*)

But let's get down to business.

A-Cha comes right on the heels of Mr. Simple - even before we're tired looping Mr. Simple. While most artists let their title track stay on the promo rounds for around two months or more, the K-pop industry continues to move at breakneck speed. We've all got short attention spans - who knows when the next cutesy girl group or irritating dance beat is going to break the charts.

So, barely two weeks since Super Junior officially stopped promotions for Mr. Simple, they are back with the follow-up.

A-Cha was produced by the same dude who brought us 太完美 (Perfection). Before its release, the track was described as a fusion of rock and electro.

To be honest, I was skeptical. Rock and electro? What sound would that turn out to be?

A pretty damn good sound, it turned out to be! The sound is fresh, though I wouldn't call it fusion. The track gathers inspiration from the rock genre, but it is very much signature SJ Funky style.

I can hear clearly the similarities of this song to 太完美 - the producer is influenced by the electric guitar riff. He manages to make rock sound good with electro beats. The entire song sounds stylish, and the masculine hook works to show a more mature side of the boys.

There is also the dark veil that is signature of this producer - it blankets the track, and there is this mysterious quality that lends the track edge and a touch of sultry that I like.

Plus, I have a thing for producers/songwriters who distinguish themselves with their own musical identity. Bonus points.

My favourite feature of A-Cha is how the singing parts have been fit to each of the members perfectly. Ten boys on one track in three and a half minutes is quite the feat, but the boys sound like heaven on this one. Everyone sings/raps a part absolutely suited for their vocal character. The treatment to their voices is also excellent - the voices flow with the melodies with so much ease.

I have a slight issue with the lyrics, though. I searched the English translation and the song is about how one person is investing in a relationship more than the other. The meaning itself from the translation is not impressive - Don't mock love etc. with a touch of angst - and they kinda get repetitive.

But the words in Korean, is quite the opposite. For once, I am not distracted by the meaning of the lyrics and I am listening to how the words sound in the song. The rhyming and repetitive sounds work well to contribute to the edgy character of the track, and yet does not fight for attention with the melody itself. Well-written, I must say. Extra bonus points.

Overall, this track has all the elements of a strong title track, just like Mr. Simple, only upgraded. Everything has been tied up neatly and tightly, and A-Cha sounds full and whole, just like a strong track should.

I am delighted that the boys got to explore a style that is different from Yoo Young Jin's smooth and suave treatment and yet still keep their identity with the SJ Funky sound.

Not as if you don't know already, A-Cha is on semi-permanent loop on my player.

You Just Fight

2011-09-19T14:43:00.001+08:00

It has been an extremely tiring past two weeks.

I think I've mentioned this before, but Grandma fell ill and it has been crazy since. Doctor visits, urgent leave, medicine, relief doctor search, specialist visit, housecalls, neurosurgeon, CT scan, gastric flu.

That's not the last of it, but Grandma's getting better bit by tiny bit.

Our lives have been kinda turned topsy turvy for a while, though. I am not a big fan of messing with my plans, but when things take a turn like this, there is no other way but to adapt.

My sister is not starting work until next year, at least. Mom's looking to quit her job so she can stay home and care for Grandma. I don't have to change any major part of my life - which makes me feel awful - but if I have to, then I'll wait to see how it goes before I continue my studies.

Which is highly disappointing, cos I spent the last nine months merticulously preparing my admission documents. Damn.

And as if that is not enough, work has been flooding, and I can hardly breathe. Suddenly, everything is urgent, and everything is important. My timeline is short, and it is getting extremely frustrating trying to finish everything on my own by the due date.

But that is life. What can you do, eh?

I read something that Luc Beeson said about Aung San Suu Kyi (He's directing the movie about her life, starring Michelle Yeoh).

I can't find the exact quote at the moment, but it goes along the lines of, "You don't think about when it is going to end. You just fight."

And that's just it about life. You just fight.

So, I will do just that. Fight. I've been fighting for the longest time, anyways.

what am I fighting against? Scratch that. I don't fight against anything. I fight for things.

And since I have time in between right now (finally) while waiting for the system to get a move on, I thought I'd drop by to get some things off my mind.

Like the yes-I-am-still-single issue. Again.

Well, it came up again because one of my friends was getting bombarded with wedding and baby first month invites. Which is all well and good, until you get about six of those in a month.

And yeah, sure, I get it, it's that time in our lives.

But then you start to realise, where does that leave you? Everyone's moving on to another phase in their lives, but you're kinda still stuck. It's not like school anymore, where everyone moves on at a definite time - secondary school to junior college to university. There's a fixed number of years you spend at each institution.

But after that, it gets fuzzy. And you know how much I hate fuzzy-ness.

But what I hate even more than uncertainty, is being last. Being last of ANYTHING.

And it seems that I am the last of everyone to get a move on in my personal life.

I hate being last! I am NEVER last! I always strive to be the best, the first of anything and everything.

Why? Because I can. Because I am capable of it. Because I do not settle for anything less than what I am worth.

So what do I do, right? I keep fighting.

I no longer attend weddings of people I don't care about. I don't attend baby/children whatever events because I cannot stand kids. I delete friends who don't bother to keep in contact after they've found their happily-never-afters.

And I take a look at their debt-ridden after-marriage lives with monster kids and I feel so much better.

I have no doubt one day I might be a daughter-in-law/wife/mother too, but cos I am the best, I won't have the negative connotations that go along with it. Hah.

I'll get out of the back of the line, and I will be better for it.

Just you wait and see. Especially you haters, who still believe in the prehistoric notion that the woman's place is the home. (That includes a certain person by the surname of Lee, too.)

;)

2011-09-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

Brian Joo feat. New Heights - Domino (Acoustic)

Nice till Brian goes all insane/diva. Lol.

Coldplay - Paradise

2011-09-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

So lying underneath the stormy skies
She said I know the sun's set to rise
It's gonna be paradise

Too Cute

2011-09-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

I think I just died of cute.

*loves*

Banish

2011-09-08T17:54:00.003+08:00

I need a break.

Work has been crazy lately, but I am not complaining too much about it cos that's just the way things go in life. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Family's been overworked too, since Grandma fell ill. I think she worries that there will be no one to take care of her once my sister starts working and we all go on with our own lives. Sigh. Old people - we'll always be there for them, but they just gotta trust in that.

My application status is hanging cos... there are two more items on my list that just doesn't want to seem to be ticked off!! Somehow there'll be some screw-up and I gotta re-work the scheudule again.

My headache's not helping anything either.

Yes, I'm basically ranting. Again.

Shoot me.

I have time now, and I really cannot do any more work, my head is in excruciating pain. I am trying to think of happy things - like dinner later.

But of course, the unhappy thoughts force themselves to surface.

For example. I do not appreciate being last in your schoolyard pick. It's not the first time I've been last, and it's not the first schoolyard pick I've been last on. I should be used to it already. But you know what? It does not feel good to be last, period. Especially with me - I am always first. And I work hard to be first.

Sure, things don't always go my way all the time. But if it is something I can control, then you better be sure that Imma make it work for me.

Of course, I don't work on lost causes. I don't fight losing battles. I only win them. The war, too.

So. I see a lost cause. Which I should have put into my box of "Banish" earlier but didn't. My mistake.

So. Imma put you into my "Banish" box right now. Goodbye.

The End.

Brand New

2011-09-01T23:06:00.000+08:00

Month, that is.

The calendar's been flipped and all my notes on SuJu's comeback have now been replaced with other important notes.

Like how the deadline for graduate application submission is 30 September 2011.

OMG.

I have everything ready, minus the bank statement and birth extracts. And of course, I have yet to organise everything into nice packages.

*starts to panic*

And then, of course there are thoughts of, "What if all the slogging and saving over the past eight months amount up to nothing?"

Gurh. Okay too much thinking. My sis says that my mind moves faster than my heart beats. Not good.

But you know, life is short. I'm not the sit back and relax kind. That will just kill me. Seriously. You wanna kill me? Put me in a resort with nothing to do.

Anyway.

September is going to be insane. God, please help me pull through till I go. I need all the strength I can get.

Thank you.

Army Daze, really.

2011-08-22T16:54:00.001+08:00

Ok, I've never understood the whole army thing.

I don't understand platoon, ORD, book out, and whatever jargon have you. I had friends who had to enlist after JC, but to be honest, I've never asked what their enlistment means, or what their routine is about. I don't care about marchpasses and the like.

But what I do care about was the fact that most of my friends at the time, were not happy going into conscription. What I thought about them? Whiners - I cannot depend on any Singaporean man, I guess. (Don't worry, my disdain for men extends beyond Singapore. And I am fully aware that I am generalising.)

And don't give me crap about how men are losing two years of their precious lives and the salary they could haev gained from those years.

First, you'll spend our free weekends clubbing instead of doing something useful those two years anyway. Second, you still start off your career in a higher career bracket than women with the exact same qualifications and experience as you do. So shaddap with the whining.

However, what I don't understand the most is how those dudes with girlfriends place special importance on going through the "ordeal" and yet still have their girlfriends waiting for them at the end of it. Like it's some sort of achievement, like some long-distance relationship triumph.

You know what? Absence makes the heart grow fonder only to a certain extent. When it's time to move on, move on. If I were ever in that situation, I cannot ever bear to go it through with my guy. Wait for him, they call it. Wait for what?

I'll definitely be looking for something better out there. If at the end of the army period, I still like the old dude, then good. If not, let's move on. Things change, people change. It's plain stupid to commit at such a young age, when you have your entire life ahead of you to experience without having to think about this other person who you're supposed to be attached to. It's baggage.

And for sure. Men being men, are not going to stay committed to one girl, especially when they are in an environment like that. They're 18 - 20 years-olds, surrounded by fellow male comrades. What makes you think they'll not engage in a game of who-has-the-best-looking-girlfriend or who-knows-the-best-way-to-get-a-girl's-number?

I'm not trying to belittle this big word they call "commitment". I'm just saying that I think people go into commitment without thinking about the consequences for sure - they're blinded by this abstract called "love". And that's stupid. God gave you brains to stop your heart from making you do foolish things.

But anyways, enough ranting about useless creeps. Let's talk about the exception.

I did my usual SuJu news trek and Heechul's enlisting for the army next week. It's sad, cos they just released their comeback, but after reading about his reasons, I feel happier.

What struck me was this:
To his fans, he said, “Thank you for loving me unconditionally over the past six years. I won’t, however, ask for you to wait for me. Instead, please support me again if you still like me when I come back with a heart of starting anew.”

Phoar. How man, can?

Never expected Chul to say something like that, but you know what?

There's hope! ;)

Grave Decisions

2011-08-12T11:56:00.001+08:00

So, here's the latest update on my mom's Tasya-must-get-married plans.

Mom: I just thought of this suddenly. Very sad, leh.
Me: What? What's so sad? (We're in the midst of watching either a Korean drama, Drop Dead Diva or SuJu video clips. I can't remember.)
Mom: Now, we are able to do up Atuk's (my late grandfather) grave nice. (We just re-did the tomb cos it was infested with grass all over.) Next time when I die, you girls will take care of my grave. But when you die, no one is going to take care of yours. So sad.
Me (and my sis): Uhm. Okay?
Mom: Please, two of you, go find a boyfriend so you won't have no one to visit your graves next time. Very sad, right?
Me (and my sis): Okays.

She's resorted to fear tactics.

But thing is, I'm not afraid. Because when I die, I don't really give a hoot about my tombstone.

I care about what I will be leaving behind, if my presence in this world has left something good for it. I care if I have made a useful human being of myself and if I had in some small way, contributed for the better of society.

Just like what the book I am reading says, it's not easy to think of the future in terms of the future. We can only think of the future in terms of the present.

My present does not include a boyfriend or settling down. A future with that only means one thing for me - no more dreams. It's like the last ever hurdle, if you like. And I keep putting it off because I am afraid that a change in my relationship status will lead to a change in myself - in my goals, my dreams, my perception of life.

And also, of course, because I am the best and only the best will do for me. Muahaha.

So, until someone I deem perfect finds me - me with my jeans, tees, lack of care for looking pretty, ambitions, dreams, judgemental opinions, feminist tendencies, etc - and accepts me for me, will I even consider if my grave will be tended to when I am dead.

Sorry, mom.

PS For all it's worth, the thought of, "Maybe I should just go do up an arranged marriage so my mom doesn't worry like this," did cross my mind. And I'm not discounting it totally. Maybe only about 98%.

No Jagger, please.

2011-08-10T16:09:00.001+08:00

Sigh. Is there no redemption for English radio these days?

I try, try, try my hardest to listen to a more diverse playlist (since of course you must know that my playlist has been invaded by K-pop).

But the moment I switch on English radio, I hear Beiber-Rihanna-got-the-moves-like-Jagger. Eurgh.
It's like English pop producers decided to be lazy and use the same formula a thousand times over and tried to push in traces of Eurodance and whatever else they think is in trend at the moment (throbbing bass and rehashed oldies).

Ok, to be fair, K-pop re-uses the same formula a thousand times over too. But since I'm me and I am very picky about my music selection, I don't have any so-called bad music in my playlist. Blatant formulaic songs with no enhancement goes into the trash. Hear, that SNSD/KARA/BEAST/T-ARA?

And oh yeah, at least the audio's really clean in K-pop. If you want to use a formula, as least produce the track properly.

So can you really blame me if I'd rather listen to this on loop for the 64th time?

그대뒤에 있습니다

만약 외롭다고 느낀다면
뒤돌아봐요
지금 혼자라서 슬프다면
뒤돌아 봐요
그대만 알고 그대만 보며
살아온 누군가가
거기서 있을지 모르니까요

<3 But of course, anything Jason Mraz sings is good, so.... Hope feat. Jason Mraz - Love Love Love

<3

OMG MrSimple SPAZZ

2011-08-05T13:01:00.003+08:00

OMG MrSimple SPAZZ

Ok, so I was too busy yesterday to blog about SuJu's new MV, but whatever. I have a job and a life to live, I can't be dedicating my entire day to SuJu, you know.

But of course that don't mean that I give SuJu a miss, especially not on their comeback MV.

Super Junior - Mr. Simple

Okay lemme shake the fangirl off first. SPAZZ OMG SPAZZ They all look sooooo good/gorgeous/sexy/cool!! WAH. sPAZZ.

<3 HAE <3 OMG, you look so good!! But why do you look like Amber from f(X)? Now you've got me having second thoughts. See following paragraph.

<3 YESUNG <3 OMG, will you marry me?

Haha. Yes I can get quite insane.

Ok now that's done.

It's quite formulaic, no? Same trajectory and film edits - dance break, individual shots, group shots, change backdrop, change costume. Looks like an improvement on Sorry, Sorry and Bonamana only.

But! This time they used colours. Lots of it. But I wish they didn't screen the film. The colours look a bit washed out cos of the screening. I was hoping for bolder colours, cos their teasers were so bold. Tad disappointed there.

And uh, that's about it. The rest of it, I LIKE.

Dance steps are simple, but choreography is insane complicated. It's tough making sure each of the ten boys get their share of the centrestage and placing everyone just so the stage is well-utilized. But it's well-done. Kudos to you boys, cos I cannot understand how you can memorize so many dance positions in such a short time.

Favourite bits of the MV:

(1) The use of the rope as a metaphor for things in life holding us back. The second teaser MV (which of course, has nothing to do with the MV) used images of someone being bound by rope, and a woman too.

(PROTEST - we've had enough of these images people!! Of women always being bound or trapped by something!! Why couldn't you just use images of the members bound instead?!)

It looks like they are trying to objectify the idea of being tied to commitments and the like that are bringing us down. I mean, the song is about breaking away from everything and taking things easy, right?

I just find the ropes-as-fashion-accessories cool and striking at the same time. Well done.

(2) The other part I like very, very much was the glass ceiling. Another metaphor, if you like.

It occurs during the dance break when Hyuk does a hand stand and they made it look like he's kicking a glass ceiling.

Way cool.

While Sorry, Sorry used a B&W treatment, and Bonamana used shadows, Mr. Simple used light. Light! Just the right amount too. Very pretty.

They've also used a lot of sound effects in this MV - jacket flops, foot stomps, hand claps. They're barely audible cos I'd imagine you'd be paying more attention to the music and visuals than all these minor details. But very nice touch, if you ask me.

And can I say that I love that the boys all looked like they gained a good amount of weight? No, I don't like my boys skinny! Please eat, people!! Dieting is not good for anyone!!

Okays, that's about all I have. Can I go back to spazzing now?

Can't wait for their first comeback stage tonight!!

*SHRIEK*

None Today!

2011-08-03T16:05:00.002+08:00

Since we've got no SuJu updates today, how about a review of the rest of the tracks on their brand new album?

(Need something to get me through the wait - the worldwide press conference and MV unveil is tomorrow!)

First of all, I have to say that Mr. Simple the album is about a third better than the previous album, Bonamana.

Unfortunately, there're no surprises in terms of tracklisting and song choices. The album is a carbon copy of their previous albums - there's the fast dance track, the KRY ballad, the friendship song - you know, the works.

The good part that justifies the formula is that the album sounds more sophisticated than SuJu's earlier efforts. Growth is a consistent feature in each of the tracks, and now you can experience the boys being able to interpret songs with a better understanding and also deliver them with more maturity.

Super Junior - 오페라 (Opera)

Upon first listen, I liked this song better than Mr. Simple. It's got pleasant, heavy beats - a contrast to the fast electronic ones of the title track. While Mr. Simple takes the listener on a headrush, Opera grounds him/her - a very nice reflection for two dance tracks back-to-back.

Two very blah tracks on the album are Be My Girl and Feels Good.

Super Junior - 라라라라 (Be My Girl)

Super Junior - 결투 (Feels Good)

Be My Girl sounds like a Britney Spears reject track. It sounds like Britney, feels like Britney. And then I found out that this was the song written by the European dude that got to know of SuJu through ELFs and Twitter. He wrote a song for the ELFs and this track, which he released way earlier, when it was titled Gotcha Number. Backstory aside, the track fits in the album just like an album filler should do, and the superior sound production makes it sound good. But that's about it.

Feels Good is another album filler. I have no comments on it. It is just very blah.

One highlight of the album was thd old skool treatment given to tracks like Walkin' and Sunflower.

Super Junior - Walkin'

Super Junior - 해바라기 (Sunflower)

Both used melodies that sound like a nice pop song from the late 90s, and they bring back nice nostalgic memories of comparing boybands with fellow girlfriends and exhanching poster centerfolds of our favourite ang moh boys.

Walkin' sounds like a Peter Andre throwback, while Sunflower sounds like a favourite N'Sync ballad. After a few listens, I like the groove both songs get into. Hang on a second, now I think Sunflower sounds like BSB's Quit Playin' Games - the song's playing right now on the radio and Sunflower sounds like a rehashed and refresed version, only more laidback and de-angsty-fied.

And of course you have the usual KRY +/- Sungmin, Donghae ballads.

Super Junior - 폭풍 (Storm)

The first one, Storm, is a very basic ballad. Nothing too special about it, except that I think if KRY were to release an album of their ballands, it might sound like one very long 40-minute song.

Super Junior - 기억을 따라 (Memories)

Super Junior - My Love, My Kiss, My Heart

I prefer the other ballads, Memories and My Love, My Kiss, My Heart. Memories' melody perfectly complements the timbres and the tones of KRY's voices, while the use of the timpany in My Love, My Kiss, My Heart is inspired.

The other ballad, the R&B flavoured Y, I LIKE. Haha.

Super Junior - Y

Y deserves a review on its own cos I'm biased that way. Y is the type of song that my playlist is full of - the soothing, smooth R&B ballad. And bonus points for it cos it was written by my boy, Hae. (<3 him much!) He's definitely showcasing how his music appreciation has expanded. From Beautiful for SS2, to Short Journey in the last album and I Wanna Love You for SS3, Y shows so much more polish. He still has a long way to go, but now I can say that he has his own sound. And if you collaborate with Chance of One Way, or with any of the One Way dudes for that matter, it's like your music touched magic.More album fillers come in the form of Good Friends and White Christmas.Super Junior - 어느새 우린 (Good Friends)

Super Junior - 엉뚱한 상상 (White Christmas)

These two happy tracks are somewhat fan service tracks. They sound like they were written for the fans, about the fans. Gurh, too happy for me. But I guess this is just SuJu style, cos in every album they've got some ELF singalong track. Just so they can use it as a stadium singalong for ther tour.

And who cares about Perfection? We've heard it already!! Give me the new stuff! They decided to include the Korean version of SuJu-M's track and to be honest, this to me is a waste of audio space. Gurh.

So all in all, it's a rather alright album. Slightly above average, but relatively speaking, their strongest offering in their repertoire.

I wouldn't be suprised if I find out later that a few of the songs are actually re-arranged from an obscure English song. They've done it tons.

But the title track, Mr. Simple, is strong, and I can forsee which songs will be used for their next tour.

The album's got a good mix of highs and lows, and until the repackage is released, the entire album is on loop on my music player.

(Boys, I need your MV now!!!)

;) Hello, Mr. Simple

2011-08-02T16:19:00.002+08:00

My boys are back!!! Like, finally.

New single. New album. New image. Yumm.

I've listened to the entire album about thrice already, and I guess it's time to finally wind it down and review the comeback track itself. Ok, I know you ain't interested, but these are just my notes, yah?

Here goes.

Super Junior - Mr. Simple

Without a doubt, this has got to be the best track off the album. It's the title track, and the one that all promo efforts are going to centre upon. well, the track deserves the attention.

It's catchy, it's got a great hook, it redeems itself before I get the chance to write it off as a messy mash-up of way-too-many audio tricks and elements. The track reminds me of "I Am The Best" by 2NE1 only because, like it, "Mr. Simple" can sound confusing with its many different stand-alone beats/melodies and the undiscerning ear may even believe that there are more hooks than one.

And just like 2NE1's track, "Mr. Simple" manages to make all the noise meld to form a soundscape that allows everything to sound good together. Like magic.

Truth be told, the track isn't as complicated as "I Am The Best". It fulfills the basic pop/dance formula that enables it to be radio earworm. What makes it stand apart is the crystal clean prodcution effects used that lets the listener enjoy every single different aspect of the song - the hook, the verse, the bridge, the pre- and post-choruses, the chorus, the rap, the middle eight.

The only thing that perhaps I'm not too happy about is the use of autotune. That audio technique is losing its appeal, since it has been so overused. But then I came across a comment somewhere talking about how the boys' voices aren't exactly autotuned. I can't remember what the person said the method was, but he/she said that it wasn't to correct pitch. It was to provide the attractive lilts between the lyrics and melody.

Upon more listens, I think that's true. It's not like I cannot identify their voices anymore. Instead their voices seem to be pulled to achieve the effect. It's not so bad afterall.

Also, for me, a song is never complete without complementary lyrics. The lyrics of "Mr. Simple" talk about letting go and to live life uncomplicated. While I'm an advocate of that, the book I'm reading is arguing that such an endeavour will only lead us to be even more unhappy, and I'm inclined to agree. But nonetheless, the lyrics are good for days I need a pick-me-up song to loop. It shall be my second choice. I still like to tell myself that I'm the best (2NE1's "I Am The Best") rather than to take things easy. Haha.

Another thing that's important for me when fishing out new songs to loop is musical growth. The boys definitely show growth since their "Sorry Sorry" days. This track retains the "Sorry Sorry" essence and yet manages to showcase a mature identity. From "Sorry Sorry" to "Bonamana" to "Mr. Simple", there's a clear path of progression. I enjoy the funky beats that we've come to associate the boys with, and yet I can hear that the boys have definitely grown to be able to interpret and carry a track like "Mr. Simple".

So, overall, this comeback track, I LIKE. I know what you gonna think - that I'm biased. There are ten good-looking dudes to drool over, what's there for a girl like me to not be biased about, eh?

But I pride myself with the ability to differentiate between emotion and rationale. So you have to go with what you just read, anyway. Fangirl aside, I approached this track with whatever limited music knowledge that I have.

Yeah yeah, music preferences are subjective. Stop reading music reviews then. Stop listening to chart music then. Haha.

Alright, it's time to get back to the order staring back at me. "I'm not gonna do myself, you know."

I can't wait for the MV. Maybe I'll do a review of the other songs tomorrow.

For now, the fangirl in me is playing "Mr. Simple" for the 37th time.

Yesterday's SuJu update

2011-08-02T09:41:00.001+08:00

GURH. Before we had time to fathom the first MV teaser, here comes the second one.

Hmm. Looks like it's just the beginning of the MV. Just like how the Sorry Sorry MV begins. Prelude has absolutely nothing to do with the MV itself.

But the beats sound goooood. Ok, to tell the truth, I thought they would move away from the electronic/dance thing, but it sounds surprisingly fresh and current.

But! Before I even had time to analyse the second teaser further, the audio (actually, the entire album) was released!!

So. Please leave me alone while I devour the album to my hearts' content.

First dibs, the track itself embodies SJ's sound, and yet it showcases growth of their musical identity. And as for the rest of the album.... so far, alright. There are a few things I'm not too happy with, though - but I'll save that for the review later.

Hellooooo, Mr. Simple!

Today's SuJu update

2011-08-01T16:07:00.002+08:00

So today the MV teaser for Super Junior's comeback single, Mr. Simple was released.

*SHRIEK*

I am so so glad the MV doesn't follow the Ubersexual concept of their teaser photos, cos they seriously look wrong in them. Colour scheme, gorgeous. Styling, bold. But ubersexual? Nope, don't get it.

Anyway, here it is!!

Oh, the song playing in the teaser is not the single itself. It's a clip written specially for the teaser. And it's not sung by them either, it's recorded by their genius composer/arranger, Yoo Youngjin.

Cos, you know, SuJu is special, they need a special song clip to introduce a song. Haha. And it's a smart marketing technique to keep fans and watchers coming back. Or it can be frustrating, cos I just want to listen to the song already!!!

And the MV teaser looks sooooo stylish! OMG!

Totally spazzing out.

Another MV teaser to be released today and then it's the audio release tomorrow!!!

Happy Ramadhan

2011-08-01T16:04:00.001+08:00

And a happy one, it is!

Today's the start of the Muslim fasting month, and it's looking bright!

Happy Ramadhan to all my Muslim friends, let's make this one a good one, Insya Allah.

Brand new month too, it's already August. I feel like the shadow and weight of July has been lifted. :)

I have a new book to read (can't wait to get back on the train to read it), new earphones to rock out to, new tasks to clear, new calendar month to scribble on.

It's about two months till my deadline for uni applications. Eeks. I have only a tiny bit left, and I've scheduled everything out so that everything will be ready on time. WHEW.

It's about a month till Hari Raya, and we've still got a lot of housework left to do. It doesn't help that our new furniture is not in stock and we still have the paint the store room and our RELACKS corner is still a dumping ground. TT How to finish everything by the end of the month?!

My shopping list for August is about ready. By shopping, of course I mean, things I need to buy cos I ran out of them. Grr. And I need to top my EzLink card up again!! TT

And. The other good thing. Deserves a post on its own. Be back.

August looks good!

Yet another one.

2011-07-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

So another year has passed. I'm 27 now.

It's really funny how I feel like the years since I started this blog passed by in a flash, and yet when I look through my entries, I feel the oh-so-many highs and lows that have seen me through since 2004.

It seems like there have been more lows than highs, but people don't tend to rant when they're happy, no? I just like to be able to be myself under this cloak of so-called anonimity and that means I get to rant, be emo, and complain all I want here.

Anyways, just like the rest of life, this year's birthday had it's ups and downs too.

More ups than downs, I guess, but one big downer can throw cold water on all the ups, yeah?

Anyways, it's over, and I'm thankful for what has been given to me.

I had a nice time catching up one-on-one with Neng, Geraldine and Cheryl Hoon. I should do this one-on-one thing more often. :)

Geraldine gave me my first gift this year (ok, second, if you consider my grandma's hongbao the first) and it was a lovely box of magnetic words that I can piece together to string sentences of encouragement. Sweet. It will be my first-thing-to-do-when-I-wake-up thing when (if?) I move to Seoul.

Speaking about moving away, I wish Neng success in her graduate school applications! Islamic Banking sounds really smart and difficult!

And here's to Cheryl's last semester at NUS! This really smart girl earned a job as a research assistant with one of the most influential professors in Singapore.

And then time with the family always is fulfilling. Auntie Sandy came down this year to celebrate me and my sis' birthdays with us. :)

And day out with mom and sis + (very conservative) shopping is always good! My mom finally got a taste of Korean food (she'll get used to it), and my sis and I went crazy at Holika Holika for both our birthdays! Muahaha.

I got myself brand new awesome red earphones to replace my spoilt ones, and I bought my sis a really pretty Lesportsac backpack. My uncle bought me a bag to replace the really terrible moulting one, and Auntie Jessica gave me a very precious Starbucks card (hey, $6.00 for a latte is a no-go for someone on my budget, ok)!

And I finally have my hands on Stumbling On Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. I've started reading a few pages on the train earlier, now I can't wait to get back on the train to continue!

Cheryl Zhang organised a dinner/karaoke session for me, which was really nice. I wouldn't go back to that Korean restaurant though, it's way too expensive for the service and the food. And karaoke was fun cos of the company, but I don't think I will do it ever again. First and last time my money is gonna go to paying to sing when I can do it for free in my own house with my giant TV screen and HD music videos.

Sad, cos I've been wanting to "go KTV" (as the cheena in my country call it) for some time, but I never found the company to. Things just kept being pushed back and the interest from other people weren't nearly close to enthusiastic. But now that I've been there, done that, I don't really find it that fun. Maybe when I find a cheaper alternative, I'll try it again.

Let's see, what else?

The obligatory dinner with Bec and Jac. Was alright. Food at Sarang was delish.

Mok Eun sent me a birthday e-mail. He called me a grandmother. That grandfather. Tsk.

Boss took us out for a birthday lunch and my lovely colleagues bought a cake and surprised me! <3 to the max! They shouldn't have, since my birthday was a week ago, but I was really touched by their gesture.And that's it.... Another year. I disappear a little more every year. This year I erased my birthdate on my FB just to see what results it would yield. Very interesting. :)So yeah, that's about it. Pictures (very few) on my twitter.

Happy Birthday, me.

I HEART 2NE1

2011-07-28T15:17:00.001+08:00

2NE1 released their mini-album yesterday.

While I'm usually excited about 2NE1's new releases, their two new songs, "Hate You" and "Ugly", are only alright. I mean, they're good, and they're definitely looping on my playlist, but here's my top concern: How is 2NE1 ever going to beat SuJu with these songs? It isn't nearly as fierce as "I Am The Best."

And of course, the entire world is anticipating SuJu's comeback next week, and we all know what crazy fans are capable of. 2NE1 doesn't stand a chance. :(

But it is interesting to read what inspired YG to release very single one of 2NE1's songs off their mini-album as standalone singles.

Learn something useful

I don't know.... The premise of it sounds good. And it makes perfect business sense. The way people consume music has changed. I belong to the ancient buy-the-entire-physical-album-at-the-record-store species. But normal people download songs off the Internet.

Songs, not albums. They choose what they want, and they don't hoard albums in their HDs.

So? Release each song and make sure everyone listens to every song on the album. And download every song, too.

Good idea, no?

However, I kinda detect a lil' producer/songwriter pride going around. Kinda like, I created this song, but the audience that receives it doesn't justify its creation.

While I agree that all the songs on this particular mini-album sound perfect, I, the old-skool-physical-album consumer, cannot seem to connect the songs.

For me, the songs that make up an album need this invisible string to hold them together, forming a coherent album playlist. It's an album, not a compilation. There needs to be some kind of flow.

And of course, the fangirl in me is totally anticipating the comeback of my boys.

Don't worry, it's still girl power all the way. But like I said, I'd rather have "I Am The Best" compete than these two new tracks. They sound like album fillers, great writing and production aside.

So anyways, here're the brand new 2NE1 tracks.

2NE1 - Hate You

P.S. Can I be just like Dara? Parang come out from nowhere kind?

2NE1 - Ugly

Melody memories

2011-07-18T17:03:00.003+08:00

Songs, like scents, leave an imprint in my memory.

Bruno Mars - Count On Me

This song started playing on radio today and the first thing that came to mind was how I felt when Bruno started playing this song onstage in KL.

Before he started the song, he asked who was at his gig with friends.

Of course, I was, but I didn't raise my hand. Typical self-conscious Singaporean.

Two of my friends were beside me on each side, and they needn't be assured, right?

But then I turned to my left, where a lil' distance away, our other friend stood.

He was looking at us, with a somewhat sheepish smile, his hand raised.

I remember feeling a twinge of regret cos I wasn't as ready as I should be in acknowledging who my friends are.

I'm not trying to find an excuse, but throughout my growing up years, and even now, I've faced rejection from people whom I would like to get to know better. So I guess in a way, I've learnt to stay away from people, just in case.

But still.

Ah wells.

:\

그러면 안 돼!

2011-07-17T00:42:00.000+08:00

Trust me, you gonna watch the vid below twice.

Junsu - Wait A Minute

This performance is from a variety show where idols re-interpret oldies. Junsu's from 2PM.

It just so happens that that clip above appeared in my Twitter feed cos I follow the dude who helped (re-)arrange the song for Junsu.

While the performance was good and all, the reaction during the first few bars of the song ignited some curiosity, so I searched for the original song.

Joo Hyun Mi - Wait A Minute

How did Junsu and Chance/Super-d (the arrangers) come up with that rap/swing style?! OMG.

Now you gotta listen to Junsu/Chance's version again, no?

Beep Beep

2011-07-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

So, it looks like I have to top-up my EzLink card more often in the future.

I'm already sucked dry from keeping up with living costs - and I mean really dry, cos I 'm down to my last $2 for the week, and it is only Wednesday. Have to withdraw money again later, which will add on to my debit. Grr. Not a good start to the mid-week.

(Side note: I just calculated that I am living on an average of $9.20 per day. That includes food, transport, and necessities like shampoo, toothpaste etc. I do excessive calculations to ensure that I can save as much as I can. And that I don't default on my bills.)

But it seems that costs will continue to rise, and checks on inflation are minimal.

SMRT and SBS Transit have both applied for fare increases by a maximum of 2.8 percent. Of course, this does not mean that costs will definitely increase, but I give it a 97.2 percent probability.

Fuel costs increase, manpower increase, new fleets - all these cost money, so to be "fair" the commuter needs to share part of the cost. I agree, to a certain extent.

Let's see... fuel cost increase. Sure, oil prices increase all the time, and it's just a case of demand and supply economics. There ain't nothing much we can do about it. However, when the price of oil decreases, please also decrease transport fares. It is simply not fair to pin the transport fare hike to the increase in oil prices, but when costs adjust downwards, we don't get to save. And since the transport companies have been enjoying taking our money even as they save on fuel, surely that money has been put to some good use? Perhaps transferred to manpower management?

Of course the money has been transferred. These recent mornings, I see more SMRT staff on the platforms. They're supposed to be making sure that people get on the train safely. Key word = supposed.

I don't see them doing anything much. Once, a lady SMRT staff came into the train to ask someone to give up a seat for a pregnant woman. Another time, another lady SMRT staff signalled to the people inside the train to move in towards the centre of the carriage so more people could enter.

That's the only two instances I saw an SMRT staff actively doing something. Other than that, they're just standing around looking left and right. Hello, shove the damn commuters into the train!! It already sucks big time that idiotic Singaporeans don't move in nor give way, the staff aren't even doing anything much about it! They're not even equipped with whistles to blow when they see some idiot cross the yellow line so that they can enter the train without giving way to alighting passengers! Oh wait, maybe the fare increase is to buy these staff whistles and train them in combat? Hmm.

Okays, so we need more buses and trains - too many people in Singapore isn't it, what with all the foreign talent we bring in. And haven't they been importing more buses and trains already? But of course, we need more.

Which is fine by me. Except that the frequency of public transport is not improving at all! Five minutes in between trains during peak hour is simply not acceptable by any standards! And twenty minutes in between feeder buses during evening peak hour is atrocious. (I know they are called Townlink or something like that, I just prefer using the word "feeder".) What happened to the increase in number of buses and trains? Where'd they all go?

Stuck in a jam? Stuck in the middle of a technical fault? Oh, don't even get me started on that. So many train delays I've been on, it's almost part of my journey and I hardly notice anymore. My half hour train ride has stretched to almost 45 minutes.

So what exactly are we paying for, if transport fares were to increase?

I seriously don't know. Perhaps it goes to the staff that are still needed to serve the ex-Prime Ministers of Singapore, who apparently still contribute significantly to our country. But we'll never know, cos where our money goes to, or what our money is used for, is never disclosed in full to citizens.

So much for freedom.

P.S. By the way, for the record, I'm much perturbed by WP's proposal for a universal transport service. Their proposal didn't highlight specifically enough how this can alleviate the problem. But at least someone's standing up against the fare hikes. Looking forward to a more detailed proposal.

Cannot stop looping!

2011-07-11T17:59:00.001+08:00

Ok I don't know how but I'm hooked on a new Korean drama - You've Fallen For Me.

I don't always watch Korean dramas cos they're well, too drama - multiple love triangles, same type of family problems, guy and girl hate each other but fall in love, you know.

But anwyways, You've Fallen For Me is not much different from other K-dramas, but the one thing that has got me hooked is the traditional Korean music featured. Okay two things - the chemistry between Yonghwa and Shinhye is really good.

And I'm also glad that Yongwha gets to showcase more songs that he has written.

Like this one, that's been on loop for the past three hours.

Jung Yong Hwa - Because I Miss You

28 plays on iTunes now. Tee hee.

A-Levels

2011-07-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

So anyway, it is Friday (again) and I have no class tonight. One of the rare times I get Fridays off, and all I want to do is go home and catch up on homework, application (re-)scheduling, music, TV and home/furniture planning. So much to do in a few hours of the night.

But! Of course something had to crop up and I can't stick to my plan of a quiet Gong Cha/Macs dinner. Grr.

But that's another rant for another day.

Today I came across this article: Calling all 'A-level' Korean women: Stop apologizing for being successful

At first, I thought, Korea uses the A-Levels too? But of course, that's just me being Singaporean.

So anyway, when I read the article, and incident that I brushed off yesterday came back to mind.

Last night, I told my mom that I wanted to be home early today cos it is one of the few Friday nights I get off. And she's like, people your age want to go out on Fridays.

So I told her that I'm getting old already, no reason to go out anymore. It's a joke, of course. I love going out on Fridays (save for the maddening crowd) but the past few weeks have been exceptionally tiring due to home renovation works.

So my mom retorts, oh yeah, you're gonna be thirty soon. Which is all good and fine by me, cos I don't care about age and stuff like that.

And then.... she came back with her usual what-is-wrong-with-you-that-you-still-have-no-boyfriend round.

Mom: When I was 30, I already had my #2. When are you getting married? Don't even have a boyfriend. Never even had a boyfriend.

Okay, my initial reaction was, what is your #2? #2 of what?

Then mom told me, "Your sister lah."

><

The only reaction I could muster was, "I have so many other things I want to do in my life other than get married. I have so many other dreams to concentrate on."

My mom was kinda half-joking with me, but I could tell the worry in her voice.

So me being me, my answer came out kinda defiant - I made it sound like I thought marriage is for losers.

Kinda like how the writer of the article sounds. Defiant of this institution of marriage that bears certain expectations and traps women somewhat.

The article struck a chord at first, but after about ten minutes, I felt that it lacked a real pulling argument. Her points are not new, and I could've came up with the same rhetoric in a blog rant. I probably have done before, in a less dignified way.

But then I read the comments.

This one struck me the most:
"The major flaw in this article is that it assumes an 'A-level' education and an 'A-level' job make someone an 'A-level' person. It's exactly that type of thinking that is the reason most of these people are still single."

So. Men can have self-confidence but a woman who is self-confident is thinking too highly of herself? Why is being self-confident and having expectations (just like men have of women being subordinate and supportive as a partner) wrong for a woman? Especially a successful one? How come it's become a handicap, how come we are being penalised?

The debate goes round and round but the fact of the matter is that women still have a long way to go to be considered equal and allowed to do anything they want without some form of negative judgement being passed down to them.

And I am going to say what someone else who commented said - men who cannot handle a successful woman are simply insecure.

A-Level (to use the term from the article) women are not looking for A-Level men. They are looking for someone who can understand them and respect them for who they are.

But if my opinions and my ability to speak my mind without fear turns you off, then too bad. You just ain't man enough to change your caveman thinking to accomodate the fact that women can dominate and lead as well as (sometimes better than) men can.

What can I say? 내가 제일 잘 나가. I deserve the best.

한상 내가 제일 잘 나가

2011-06-29T16:44:00.000+08:00

I absolutely love this song - it has got to be the best pick-me-up ever - right place, right time amidst my crazy count-my-money-everyday phase.

The track doesn't differ too much from the fierce, in-your-face style of 2NE1, but I did think that it sounds a lot like their debut track, Fire. Not in terms of meloday and beats, but the general feel of it. It sounds nostalgic (sounds very weird to use this word on a track released only about two years ago) yet fresh.

What I adore is the hook of the song - 내가 제일 잘 나가 - it means "I am the best."

And of course, I am. Muahaha. Have a look at the lyrics and you'll understand why I love this song so much.

Apart from the sick hook and the way-too-many-elements-put-in-one-track-just-cos-I-can-and-the-track-still-sounds-awesome, I really dig the style of the MV. Whoah, are those spikes on Bom's boobs? OMG, Dara's hair?! And I spot a cute kitten!!

The look of the MV may be outta this world, but it suits 2NE1 just fiiiiine. They don't care what you think about how they look and how they behave as girls, they just bring awesome music to the discerning listener.

With every new song, 2NE1 keeps upping the wow factor and I seriously hope girls can open their eyes and realise that the image that 2NE1 portrays is one of the few they should look up to. Not cutesy, skinny, can't-sing-can't-dance, talentless SNSD. Boys are allowed to like SNsD cos they don't know what's good for them (and I really don't care that they don't), but girls need to stand up and show the world that not all of us are stupid like SNSD.

We fierce and smart and hawt, so don't mess with us!

So anyways, since I am the best, I deserve the best, right? And cos I am the best, I can get through whatever I need to get through and leave everyone else in the dust. Muahaha.

Thanks, 2NE1. <3

내가 제일 잘 나가

2011-06-27T11:49:00.002+08:00

This is suberply FML.

I just re-worked my finances yesterday, and I was kinda satisfied that by the end of next month, I'd be fine as I won't be saving up as much any more for any more short-term needs.

Then this morning, even as I was incredibly sleepy on the train, I realised that I needed to continue saving for new short-term needs.

- I need to save at least $300 to pay for application fees.
- I need to save at least $150 for birth extracts.

Seriously!! Is there never going to be an end to this?!

Hmm. I just found out that a birth exract now costs $30, not $40. Should I just bite the bullet and apply for them right now? So I only have an extra $100 per month to save?

Decisions.

I have to go home and re-work my finances AGAIN.

But before I go all ballistic when I get home and look at my pathetic cash box, I better post up the latest single by my girls, 2NE1. Cos no matter what problems may come or issues that I am having, I am the best. Muahaha.

2NE1 - 내가 제일 잘 나가

No, I didn't miss you.

2011-06-23T17:30:00.002+08:00

After three blissful days without it, the headache is back to continue to irritate me. What gives, huh? Go away, headache!!

Just took some painkillers (Doc actually gave me stronger ones, but I'm skipping those for now), and waiting for them to take effect.

...And the headache is still there. It's been about half an hour. Tsk.

Anyways, it's a really slow day today. Yesterday was hectic, but today, I can blog.

And to be honest, I have nothing to blog about at the moment.

Another rant?

Hmm.

I want to get out of here ASAP. Lol.

I need space. Lol.

I realised yesterday that probably the strongest reason why I am pushing to get out of here is to get away from my family.

Don't get me wrong. I love my family. But I need space.

Selfish? Yes, I agree.

But I need to get away, or else I might go insane. I need to prove that I can go it alone, that I can be independent, that I can manage things for myself and take care of myself.

Hm. I know. I ranted about this before. How about a summary? (Yes, I'm killing time.)

Top reasons why I need to get out of Singapore
1. To prove that I can be independent
2. To get away from familial responsibilites for a while
3. To experience a life completely different from the one I am leading now
4. To construct a new social life
5. To pursue higher education

Haha, ironically, I have been working hardest towards the weakest reason for the past half year.

Anyways, I'm done here. Gonna move on somewhere else to while my time away.

Time = Music

2011-06-21T15:46:00.003+08:00

Yes, when I have time, I listen to new music and check out new MVs.

And since my obsession with K-pop isn't waning, the only tracks I surf on YouTube are perfectly produced K-pop ones. Lol.

B1A4 - Only Learned The Bad Things

I'm not sure if I posted their first single up before, but I'll post it up after this anyways. Haha.

I got hooked on these adorable boys from the beginning. They're oh-too-cute to deny, lar. This follow-up track was written by Wheesung, and I think it's a good one, only perhaps if it were given to a slightly more mature band, the meaning would come out better.

The MV's still in the making, so for now, put up with the slightly off-tune live version.

B1A4 - O.K.

Too cute. Too cute.

SHINee - Replay (Japanese version)

The original cute boys have decided to venture into the Japanese market. I disagree with the move.

I don't think they need to re-record their songs in Japanese just to enter the market. I mean, they haven't re-recorded their songs in English, but they're huge in Singapore. But then again, my SuJu boys sang Chinese songs just to enter the lucrative Chinese market.

The reason why I think re-recording is unnecessary is because the songs sound best in the language they were written in. Ok, fine, I know some of the songs in SHINee's and SuJu's albums are a re-write of some English/Spanish songs.

But my point is, Replay was written in Korean. It sounds best in Korean. It's got such a K-pop feel to it, and it is THE song that got me hooked onto K-pop. The Japanese version sounds weird, but I guess that is a good thing, since I think the Japanese version of SuJu's Bonamana sounds downright ridiculous.

That said, I think the Japanese MV is much better than the Korean one. What gives, eh? The boys look so much better in the Japanese MV, and the light treatment is pretty.

SHINee - Replay (Korean version)

8Eight - 그 입술을 막아본다

It's been a while since I watched a beautifully weaved story in an MV. The visuals are arresting and I can only imagine what creativity must have ensued to be able to come up with such an elaborate concept.

I read the comments before watching the MV, so I caught on to the meaning early on. But do have a watch - the MV is as gorgeous as gorgeous can get.

2PM - Hands Up

The MV is out!!

When I watched the teaser, the boys were entering a club, and I thought, "That club looks awfully like Zouk."

Turns out that the club IS Zouk!

The boys filmed parts of the MV in Singapore! The Art Science Museum, the skyline, Keppel Bay, there's even the Singapore Girl. And of course, Zouk. It looks like an ad for STB. Lol.

But no surprises in the MV - I already expected a in-the-club setting. Boring! And seriously, how on earth did they manage to make Junsu up to look like that? I remember him looking tons better before this.

One Way - Rainy Days

See? (Junsu sings the chorus.) Bring this Junsu back!!

f(x) - Hot Summer

A nice, upbeat song just right for the summer. I watched the MV before listening to the song, and I like the song without the visual.

I love the red outfits, but the MV seems a lil' bit try hard. I love Amber (the tomboy) though, she doesn't get nearly enough screen time. She dances so well!

Ok, before I go!

2NE1 - 내가 제일 잘 나가

My fav girls coming back very soon!!!

Alright, that's enough K-pop for the day. Tuesday's gonna be over in a few hours' time!~

Yet another one of those days

2011-06-20T17:14:00.002+08:00

Yup, some people call it the Monday blues, but I refuse to succumb to some human-made excuse to feel down and out. If I'm down, then I'm down, I don't have to justify it to anyone else. Hah.

Anyway, it's on one of those days where I have nothing much to do and I'm itching around to fill my time up. So I decided to listen to 2PM's new album, Hands Up.

I'm not a huge fan of 2PM, but I do admit that their songs did introduce me to the larger part of K-pop. I remember watching and listening to Again And Again a really long time ago and from there, I started listening to other boybands like 2AM, Big Bang, U-KISS etc etc. These groups will never be able to reach the level of fandom I have for SuJu, but nonetheless, always worth a listen in order to keep updated with the industry.

So, Hands Up, upon first listen to the first few tracks, sounded very American. I guess they're trying to go for a more international sound, but there is no denying the superior Korean production treatment throughout the entire album.

The first and title track, Hands Up, sounded like a cross between Big Bang and Far East Movement. I felt like the essence of 2PM, which was very much present in their previous releases without U and I'll Be Back, was lost while the boys were trying to find their footing in a more international sound. Perhaps I have not been listening to enough of 2PM to come to that conclusion - maybe they were gunning for an international sound since the beginning.

The track is still a nice, non-abrasive ditty with an infectious club beat, but I couldn't help but think that it would be complemented with nice visuals. Looking forward to the MV - it may be a typical in-the-club setting, but somehow I think the song will sound better with the visuals. Sorry boys, your strong point is the fact that you are very nice to look at, so keep playing that up.

My favourite track of the album has got to be Like A Movie - that was my own direct English translation. The actual title is 영화처럼.

It was written and produced by One Way's Chance and the rap was written by One Way's Sky, so I'm already a tiny bit biased. It sounds like the entire song was sung by Junsu though, and the rap was recorded by Sky himself. I really, really like it.

It brings up images Junsu singing in front of a movie screen at one of those really old theatres, with the movie running, so there's the projection on him. I haven't checked the lyrics out yet, but I sure am digging the background sounds in the song - the film reel etc.

The song's style is also very much One Way-influenced - yeah, duh, right - but I like that I can identify it as One Sound, and yet it can sit well in a 2PM album, perhaps cos Junsu also had a hand in writing this track (I'm not sure 100% if he did) and his sound is similar to One Way's. What would be better though, is for Junsu to break out with more songs like this one - I love that Junsu can write. He should do it more often.

Unfortunately, that's all about the album that interests me. My reviews are mostly based on my own opinion, and while I do look at the bigger picture, like how the album would place in the K-pop soundscape and if the artiste has put in effort to grow with the music and the trends while keeping his idenity; more often than not, the scores I give depend largely on my interest.

The bad thing about K-pop albums is that they have a few new songs, and the later part of the album is filled with their past singles from their EPs, and instrumentals or different remixes of the current single.

Or in the case of SuJu, they have 12 brand new tracks, but upon further research, the later songs in the album would be a Korean re-write of some obscure European song or a really old Korean song.

Boring.

so anyways. I've listened to the album about five times now, and I can't help but hit the replay button on 영화처럼.

New song to loop!

Happy Monday, everyone.

You-u-u-u-u-u

2011-06-17T16:36:00.001+08:00

So here's what's been happening since my last rant:

(A) I still can't afford a chocolate bar. Boo hoo.

what else is new, eh? I just received my letter to inform me to pay my income tax. Paid off, but then I had to re-calculate and re-divide my expenses so that I have enough not to default on other payments.

The cheque from pay day next week will be just enough to cover these payments, with about $150 left for me to last the rest of July. That $150 needs to cover food and transport, which, is barely enough.

So what do I do? FML, right?

My options are:
- Find a new job that will pay me better.
- Find an extra job to supplement my income.

My "excuses" are:
- Find a new job, and uh, quit in three months? I'll be moving to Seoul soon, God willing, and the hassle of finding a new job is not worth it.
- If you've seen my last tweet, you'd know that I have barely enough time to rest. My schedule is packed to the brim, and I seriously don't think my health - the 5-week long headache - will be able to handle added work.

But I'm considering the second option.

(B) New home!

The cash crunch can be attributed to the fact that my house will be going through major renovations in a week's time.

It started out as a paint job with a budget of $1K, but somehow, it became an overhaul. Don't ask me how it came to that. Please, just DON'T.

We're changing lights, knocking down a sink and unused pipes, installing air-conditioning and a feature wall for the TV, fixing the ceiling cos part of it has fallen down, changing our room doors, hacking down the cabinets to make way for a bigger fridge, getting new furniture, etc etc etc.

And so my schedule has to fit in packing and throwing out things in my home as well as hunting for new furniture as if I am moving to a new house.

And you won't even be able to fathom the amount of rubbish we have.

Here's a sneak peak:

That's only my mom's room, three quarters of the living room, and half of my grandma's room.

I have yet to embark on the store room. Goodness. *faint*

Side rant: I just cleared my wadrobe, and I have barely anything to wear to work everyday!! I can't buy new clothes, cos I obviously can't afford it. I wish I can just go to work in a uniform, then I only need 5 sets - one for each day. Wait. My wadrobe looks like I can somehow work out only 5 sets of uniforms. Hmm.

(C) Re-writing my application documents

Ok, it's not so much re-writing as it is fine-tuning. I've got a few more points to fit in, and then they're done.

Oh, the rant bit?

Well, my schedule's full to the brim.

I've got homework, university stuff, packing, work. I am surprised I can even breathe.

By the time I am back from work, which is about 7 in the evening, I get down to homework, dinner, more writing and I'm done by about 10.30 pm.

And then, I have to go make lunch for the next day cos I don't have the money to buy lunch.

Sometimes I just feel like skipping lunch, cos I'm already so tired by the end of the day/night, I just want to sleep.

(D) The headache

I've been having a headache for five weeks now.

It's more irritating than worrisome at the moment.

Every night I just want to get to bed to get some rest, but what happens?

I wake up the next morning with the headache still around, and I don't feel rested at all.

I feel like a zombie these days.

(E) New music!

Ok this isn't so much a rant.

Derrick Hoh - Flow

Yup, since when did I start to listen to Chinese Pop eh? Haha.

Since I got back from Taiwan? Haha.

Anyways, I liked the song the first time I heard it. It's got a real classic Mandopop feel to it. I first thought it was a song by a Taiwanese artiste. And then I found out it was by our very own Derrick, whoah. Nicely done. It could use tighter production though - Derrick's voice didn't get stretched as much as it could, given its limitations. ><Jennifer Lopez (feat. Lil' Wayne) - I'm Into You

Another really catchy song by JLo. The video's a little bit weird to me though.... The dude's really not my type and how come she looks so comfortable prancing around with him even though she's happily married to Marc Anthony?

Too bad the album doesn't fulfil my expectations. The concept of it sounded attractive - Love? - but the songs were not strong enough to be identified to be from one album. They sounded random and put in for the sake of making an album. Sorry, JLo. I understand the intentions, but it didn't get through in the music.

Untouchable - You You

Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce. Lol. Love the infectious energy in this track. Everytime I listen to it, I just wanna go bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce. "I want you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u, you-u-u-u-u-u."

Okays, it's a Friday~ What else can there be to rant about, huh?

Oh. How am I gonna afford dinner later? Hm.

Your choice.

2011-06-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

Every X-Men movie I have watched brought with it a pertinent point that transcends the screen and Hollywood, to root itself in relevance in today's society.

X-Men: First Class was no different. Apart from the magnificent cinematography and beautiful storytelling with mult-dimensional characters, one line stood out from everything else.

Erik Lehnsherr: I've been at the mercy of men just following orders.

Charles Xavier was trying to stop Erik from blasting the daylights out of both the Russian and American fleet, arguing that the men in the ships were innocent. But are they really innocent just because they are following orders?

You see, we always have a choice. You want to be happy, sad, angry - you have a choice. You want to work in a job that gives you monetary satisfaction or you want to work in a job that makes you happy regardless of the pay - you have a choice.

You want to follow orders or you want to fight for what is right - you have a choice.

Whatever choices in life that you make - from the mundane like what to eat for lunch to the important like how you should invest your money - have consequences.

So, even if you are following orders and doing something against your principles because of that, that is a choice you have made for yourself, and you alone have to face up to any consequences arising from that choice.

And that choice you make can change things. For the better or worse, that is entirely up to you.

So make it a good one. Not only today, but every day.

Because you always have a choice.

PS The movie's quite a good one - go watch it if you can.

Ice Inside Your Soul

2011-06-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

So I've got some more nice-ish tunes to share.

Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts

You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul

Paramore - Monster

One Way - Don't Love You No More

I miss these dudes terribly!

Ok that's all for a Monday. Back to work!

Coldplay - Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

2011-06-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

I. Love. This. Song.

Headache.

2011-06-03T17:27:00.001+08:00

It is finally Friday.

I have a stalker. The headache. It refuses to leave me. It's been three weeks. Grr.

And new music don't help either.

Kim Hyun Joong - Please

Ok, I guess if you can't get back with your group, you go solo.

Points for the hard work (I think he had a hand in producing/writing this track? Not too sure.), but seriously, it sounds too much like SS501 for me to be able to appreciate this song as an individual effort.

Understand (before his fans hunt me down) that he *was* from SS501, but that don't mean that your musical identity needs to be stagnant there. Unless.... you wrote and produced everything when you were in SS501, then you would have had your musical influences there and also in your own solo track. Or you're just too stuck in the SS501 soundscape to break out.

And as I was listening to it, I found that the song was too long. Then I looked at the time stamp and realised that the it was only 3 and a half minutes long. Uh. I guess if I was getting sick of a short song, it must not be very good.

Stick to acting, KHJ. If you can manage more challenging roles - so far you're stuck with the cold prince type, yawn. The only thing I think is good for your comeback is your new haircut - now you look like a man.

Secret - Starlight, Moonlight

Looks like the girls are sticking to the retro concept for a while. I like.

Honestly they're one of the very few girl groups that I can look at and listen to without rolling my eyes. I find that they don't follow girl group trends too much, they're quite their own women.

Sure, they wear the short skirts and bounce-bounce-bounce-cutesy-bounce, but I find that they're not doing it just cos they're being told to. Don't ask me how I know that. Intuition. They look good dancing too, cos at least they have nice bodies, not the way-too-skinny types. Except maybe one of them.

And their retro style is a breath of fresh air. We're all tired of the dancey, hip hop, R&B tracks already. Unless someone comes up with a breakthrough track in those genres, we all need some fresh tunes to invade our ariwaves.

So I guess that'll be it for today. I'd like to go on ranting about the pappers who have been *elected* and are seriously incuring my ire, though.
- That lady MP who said that she was irked by the media coverage of WP's first MPS: really sour grapes if you ask me, Ms Please-Like-Me-On-Facebook
- Mr my-dignity-depends-on-my-paycheck Lim Wee Kiak - oh, words taken out of context you say? Yah you have a family to feed, we hear you. So do all of us, and we're doing what we can without $15K a month
- Sitoh Yih Pin and his "between employer and employee" weak excuse for "redeploying" Potong Pasir town council staff
- The last one not really to do with pappers, but more to do with the goverment: increasing the CPF minimum sum again. Cost of living increasing, salaries stagnant. If paychecks can be frozen, so can OUR money in OUR CPF that WE have EARNED.

But, my head's in too much pain to write any more.

The Little Things

2011-05-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I am reminded of one of our National Day Songs: "It's the little things that we share..." Yeah, that's all I remember of it, haha.

Anyways, I haven't even written anything and already I am drifting from topic.

Here goes.

It's been a little more than five months since I started working on my applications for my Master's, and every day is an uphill battle. I'm not exaggerating.

There are about 24 items that I have to prepare for my application (including a study plan, a personal statement and other such time-consuming write-ups). I do not have the luxury of an entire week free to concentrate on preparing these items once and for all. Plus some items need some time to prepare, like recommendation letters and certified transcript copies.

So I have to settle on working on these items bit by tiny bit. After work, I dedicate some time everyday to do perhaps a draft of a paragraph on one write-up. So little, you say? Seriously, by the time I get home, my brain is fried and doing any more than that would take an unnecessary toll. Plus, I've got homework to settle. So that is why I started preparation so early - the deadline for application submission is in August to October for the Spring 2012 semester.

I am about halfway through these items as of today. Well, okay, somewhat halfway - I've still got birth extracts to apply for, passport photos to take and recommendation letters to receive. At least I'm done with the heavy write-up stuff. I even have my study plan for my Master's thesis ready.

Sometimes, the going gets really tough.

Because on top of preparation, I'm saving up for a number of things. Going overseas will not be cheap, but I've got those expenses about covered. It will be a struggle making ends meet, but I do not forsee myself going hungry over too long a period of time.

I don't earn much, but I don't make such a fuss about it because I love my job. It's been keeping me going these few years despite everything I'm pushing through.

But that very little that I earn, I find it starting to get divided among more things than I can afford comfortably. Study loan, family expenses, personal expenses, leisure expenses.

Sure, you can say, take out the leisure expenses! Trust me. My lifestyle has changed so much you'd think I'm a somewhat different person for it. I don't go out as often anymore. I don't shop unnecessarily. I have been pakcing lunch for the past one and a half years. The "leisure expenses" I am referring to is travelling. Every month, I take out a tiny portion and save up for a holiday every once in a while. Cos if I keep on staying here and living here like this without escape, I might go insane.

And I am fully aware that there are others out there who cannot afford the luxury of "leisure expenses". I understand that my situation is not dire.

But sometimes, I do need to vent. I am only human, I guess. As much as I would like to think I am strong enough to brush these things aside.

Like this week.

Work has been hellish this week - suddenly everything seemed urgent and important. Besides that, my money flow isn't very good this month, either. I guess I spent a little too much for my mother's birthday last month, and this month, my cat's vet expenses were kinda high.

But it was the accumulation of the little things that got to me.

On Tuesday, I decided that I wanted to buy myself a bar of chocolate to cheer myself up. Monday was a really long day, and I just wanted to be a teeny bit happier for Tuesday. But I did not have enough in my wallet to afford one. And I could not withdraw money cos I needed that money to be in the bank for my study loan payment.

Yesterday, I saw a new tear in my bag. I hope my bag will last till July at least, when I can finally treat myself to a bit of a shopping spree.

On Monday night, as I was going though my admission items, I realised that I needed to apply for birth extracts. One birth extract costs $40.00, and I wanted to (initially) apply to four universities. I decided that I needed to use the money I had saved up over the past months for a hair-do-over (I have not done my hair in about a year) for these birth extracts instead.

Today, my EZ Link card balance has slipped to below $10.00 again. I don't understand how I need to keep topping it up, public transport must really be getting expensive, I suppose. But it doesn't justify the overcrowding on trains and buses, plus the long waits in between trains and buses. Today, the waiting time for a train during morning peak hour was five minutes. Simply unacceptable for what our government purports as a "world-class transport system".

A few universities replied to my queries regarding having a TOPIK score as a requirement for application. They were not favourable answers. I was at a loss for a while because I have been preparing hard for so many months now, and it seemed like everything would go to waste. I managed to think up a few options and have since adjusted my timeline and plans, but these changes did cause some distress.

And when I needed to talk to someone, it seemed very difficult. The other party would be engaged in something and I would feel like my need to talk seemed unimportant. So I didn't follow up, and after a while, I led myself to believe that things were alright. It doesn't help that my mother isn't fully supportive of my dreams and study plans.

I know. Right now I must sound exceptionally whiny. Complain, complain, complain.

Yes, my problems are really.... insignificant. I repeat. I do know that there are others who face more serious and difficult, even insurmountable problems. And I do have solutions to my problems.

But I really do need to vent every once in a while.

And I guess for now, my blog will do.

Things will get better, I know it. I just have to keep my dreams in sight and keep on going.

잠들고 싶어

2011-05-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

The GE 2011 Political Demise of Lee Kuan Yew: A Supreme Irony

2011-05-18T14:14:00.000+08:00

I wish I could pen my thoughts more rationally and with a flourish like this:

The GE 2011 Political Demise of Lee Kuan Yew: A Supreme Irony

But the piece really resonates with me. It reflects absolutely my thoughts about the GE2011 wrt Lee Kuan Yew.

Thank you, sir, for all that you have done for Singapore.

Gurl Powar.

2011-05-15T14:29:00.000+08:00

How about a break from the rage/ranting?

Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull - On The Floor

This track didn't resonate well with me at first, but after a while, I really like the groove it gets into. And JLo is hawt cos she so damn confident! I also like that JLo keeps her Latino roots in her music, cos that adds so much more flavour to an otherwise boring soundscape.

Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath

Liked this track the moment it started playing on radio. Nicole's another hawt and confident lady, I like! The vid's a bit blah, though.

Sistar19 - Ma Boy
Woot the sexay boday wave! I so want to be able to do that!

2NE1 - Lonely

And of course, my fav girls outdid themselves again. Their song is about feeling like you lost your identity in a relationship, which is what happens to most girls. So my 2NE1 girls are saying, don't be afraid to stay true to yourselves, girls!

Girls should be exposed more to healthy images like these. Too much cute and/or skanky going on!

Post GE2011 - CST FTW, please.

2011-05-11T17:03:00.000+08:00

So, the #SGelections have come and gone. Victory and loss to different people.

While personally I would like to knock more seats off from PAP in favour of the opposition, it was still a good result for the opposition despite the odds.

A good wake-up call for the ruling party is always a good thing. They need to realise that while they are doing good for the country on a macro level, the micro level should not be neglected.

And that's where the hearts of the people lie. PAP forgot to listen to the people in the pursuit of business- and economic-centric policies. The issues thrashed out during GE2011 were bread-and-butter ones, and the PAP, over the last decade, has allowed negative sentiment regarding these issues to snowball.

And then there were the many mistakes made by individual ministers:
- The remark about spending one's dying days in JB
- Cavalier attitude regarding the affordability of public housing
- Inadequate and ineffecient response to the recent years' flooding
- Inadequate explanation and punishment regarding an escaped terrorist
- Inadequate explanation and punishment regarding failed investments
- Showing yourself to be intolerant of alternative lifestyles
- Blatant arrogance and disrespect towards the new generation of citizens
- Blind belief that only you have all the answers to all the problems of all the citizens
(The list really goes on and on, but I don't want to waste time.)

What is worse is that PAP managed to ruin their campaign this year, all on their own:
- There were so many strands of argument that I am confused as to what the PAP is saying.
- The PM alpologized. George Yeo acknowledged the need for reform. MM Lee remains high-handed. Vivian explained the YOG overbudget. Mah Bow Tan refused to answer questions from journalists from The Online Citizen. SM Goh called NSP the No Substance Party and then blamed Tin Pei Ling for his party's bad showing for his constituency.
- Say what?

The opposition, on the other hand, came out so strong this year, I think it took the complacent PAP by surprise. There was a common theme of argument among all the opposition parties' manifestoes and rally speeches - the need for alternative voices in government so that all Singaporeans are represented. They worked out who would be running for which constituency so that there would be no three-cornered fights (Of course, there was one, and that was a stupid move.) They proved that degrees and scholarships and all of that did not mean that they could not serve the people of Singapore, because you can have all that but lack heart and passion.

So, while I am not anti-PAP, I am against having one voice in parliament, when clearly that voice doesn't represent the majority of citizens anymore.

The rising costs of living and the inadequate help given to the poor and middle-income is an important issue that the PAP has largely ignored and has used the upgrading carrot to blind. That's where the majority lie and I strongly believe that the number is not one in every four. I know of people who refuse to vote opposition because they are scared. Of what, I really don't know, but I pray to God they grow some courage. (I wanted to use a crude word there, really.)

And of course the losses of this election were heavy:
- Chiam See Tong will not be in parliament for the next five years. Everyone's going on about George Yeo, but my hero is CST. He is fighting for all of us, for our right to democracy, and for all of us whom the government ignores. He inspires me so much, everytime I listen to him, my faith is renewed to keep pushing for change.
- George Yeo has announced his retirement from politics. I respect GY because he listens and is humble, unlike his other PAP colleagues. He is able to see what is wrong with his party and he is able to serve the people from the heart.

But I guess we have these five years to live with the decision, and for WP to prove themselves in parliament. I have no doubt that they will do a stellar job, but I can't be sure the ruling party won't be making things difficult for them.

I am already prepping for GE2016. Bring it on, and let's make Singapore a better place to live in because we welcome a wide range of voices in our government.

What GE2011 means to me

2011-05-04T18:51:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling a tad fatigued from the #SGelections.

There is a lot of chatter going on, and everyone wants to have a say these days.

It all started very well and good - there was healthy debate, and suddenly people in Singapore no longer seemed to be an apathetic bunch. This is a good thing, considering for how long we've been silenced and silent - it was a pleasant surprise to find out that Singaporeans do care for their country, and that they do understand how important one's constitutional right to vote is.

But it seems that the debate has somewhat deteriorated into name-calling and judgement. I try to be more objective, and while this bad rep is being caused by people on both sides of the fence, but it seems like a lot of negative judgement has been passed on those who are pro-opposition.

Firstly, I am using "pro-opposition" because that label does not immediately imply "anti-PAP", and neither does it imply that I want to rebel against a one-party government that has, over the years since independence, brought our country from being a British colony to the economic dynamo it is today.

Secondly, I am not pro-opposition for the sake of being so. I love my country too much to want to support a cause just for the sake of it, while not being aware of what I am supporting.

So, just to gain some perspective on all the chatter from all sides, I decided to sit down and think back on what the #SGelections means to me.

I was first aware of politics in Singapore in 2001. I remember our GP teacher using the newspaper stories about the elections during class. Back then, I was too young to vote.

So, as with any other teenager at the time, I was ignorant. I knew the dictionary meaning of "elections" but I never bothered to find out what exactly elections in Singapore means.

Then five years passed quickly, and during that time, I was exposed to so many diverse ideas from so many different people. Slowly I became aware of what it means to be a citizen, and what it means to be a person living in this world, in this society.

The elections in 2006 were landmark for me, because it was the first time I was eligible to vote, and my constituency did not suffer a walkover.

I was excited because after all I had learnt in school, here was a chance for my voice to be heard. It was one voice out of millions, but it was still my voice.

I didn't vote blindly. I knew what I wanted for Singapore, but more so, I knew what I wanted for myself - a right to exercise my freedom of choice, without fear. And this freedom, I would use responsibily, to contribute good things back to society. So I voted. For the opposition.

It wasn't so much that I wanted to oppose for the sake of opposing (though I admit being young and impetuous did play a part). I was just glad that I had a chance to speak up, and I never give up a chance like that.

Today, I count myself blessed to be able to excercise my constitutional right again, as a citizen of Singapore. And in that alone, I get baffled.

A constitutional right should not be something I should be "thankful" for, as during Nomination Day I was waiting with bated breath for good news that my constituency would not suffer a walkover. It is a basic human right to choose the path I want to move towards, and yet, there I was, wondering if I will be able to vote come Polling Day.

But that is the reality in Singapore.

I am not looking for election excitement. I am looking for a chance to speak up.

And because the reality in Singapore is as such - where we have been silenced, and been silent for too long - I am using this vote this General Elections 2011 carefully.

It is very encouraging and heartening to see so much action happening on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. But I fear that the arguments may get displaced, and I also fear that these sentiments do not get translated into a vote.

It is no secret that I will be voting the same way I did in 2006 - you just have to go through my Facebook and Twitter updates to get a feel - but it will be for slightly different reasons this time. I am still speaking up for myself, but at the same time, I am speaking up for the people in Singapore who need a voice.

Oh, and please - I may be open about my opinions and my vote direction, but your vote is SECRET. The serial number on your voting slip is to ensure that everyone votes only once, not to track you down. Or for you to buy 4D with it, haha.

So I urge you, before you vote, please take some time to think about it. Do not get swept by baseless arguments and heated opinions, and also, please do not get swept into trend. For if that happens, you will again become a victim of the silent majority, and your voice would not have made any difference in your life, nor in the life of any other people.

And whoever you decide to vote for, I hope it is an informed decision, and that you are voting not only for a party to represent Singaporeans, but also for a party and for PEOPLE to help Singapore, in hand WITH Singaporeans, to move towards progress.

;)

L.O.V.E.

2011-05-02T00:26:00.001+08:00

Okay let's take a chill pill from the #sgelections. Been way too active on FB and Twitter, it's starting to get addictive.

CNBLUE - Love Girl

Four really cute boys in my room. Can someone please tell me where I can buy a poster like that?

P.S. I don't dig the ending, but it works for the vid very well!

PPS I love the sunlight effect on the whole vid.

#sgelections

2011-04-29T17:50:00.002+08:00

There is suddenly so much work to clear, I feel like I am about to drown. I feel like I being bullied. TSK.

No matter, Imma gonna do well and these people will know not to mess with me in the future.

I've been so busy lately that I haven't got to blog about much about the elections!

I was really excited on Nomination Day and I was following the news the entire morning. But now that it is over and done with, I only have one thing to say and I'm moving on. The walkoevr at Tanjong Pagar is fishy - 35 seconds late eh? I seriously do not believe that it was fair game.

Let's talk about what irks me to death for GE2011.

I used to be digusted by apathy. I am still somewhat annoyed by it, but I now respect that there are people who do not care for politics even though it affects their lives directly. It is their choice, and the next time these people tell me they are unhappy, I will tell them that they have chosen to be that way.

Now, what I find worse than apathy is inertia and ignorance.

Let's talk about ignorance first. In this GE2011, a lot more people are interested in what is going on, which is a good thing. But there are also a lot of people who want in on the action without thinking about the reasons they are in it for.

They contemplate going for a rally but are only interested in the ones in their own GRC/SMC. They believe that politicians should only be seen during campaign periods. And they have no clue about how the policies that have been implemented for the country are affecting Singaporeans.

But! They pretend to know what they are talking about. They air their thought process on social media. They want to be part of what's happening.

I only have one word for these people - pathetic. Please, go read up, do some research, form a strong opinion with strong base, before you even participate. Right now, whatever you are doing only makes you look stupid.

But then again, we need stupid people in this world so that there are smart ones, eh?

Now, the second point - inertia.

If you are complaining about how you are unhappy with the current ruling party and want a change, do it. Be that catayst for change.

I hate listening to excuses:

(a) The opposition candidates in my GRC/SMC is not good enough.
You think you're voting just individual candidates into parliament? No, you are voting for a voice. You are voting for a party. You are voting for ideals and principles you believe in.

(b) Voting is not secret. And what if I get penalised? Look at what happened to Hougang, even PM Lee has said that they are in that state because they did not vote for PAP.
Well, if material things like upgrading is your top concern for voting... Well, ok then. And if you're using fear as an excuse, I really cannot respect that.

Someone replied me on Twitter saying that the opposition is also using fear to coerce people to vote, otherwise, Singapore will be in a dire state. I have to strongly disagree. I do not believe that these opposition parties, who are here to lend their voices to speak for our alternative views, would use tactics of the party they have been fighting against. It simply does not make sense. And so far, I have not experienced any opposition party candidate making me nervous or scared. Instead, I feel empowered to take that step and gather my courage to make a change.

(c) Nothing's gonna change anyway. We're too comfortable to change the status quo.
Well. Nothing's gonna change if you're not going to do anything about it, right?

A lot of peole questioned me before, why do I stay in this country when I am unhappy. Well, I have a stake in this country. I am Singaporean. So I am staying, and when I can, I am fighting. Not only for me, but for Singaporeans.

My fate lies in my own hands. If I don't make a move for myself, who will?

PS - this essay gives me so much hope. Together, we can make a change for Singapore, for the better.

Changes!

2011-04-26T17:35:00.000+08:00

I was going though some old entries last night, and I realised how much more music I put here two years ago. Lol.

Wonder what changed. Perhaps I got more busy, or I haven't been listening to enough new material. Or maybe nothing's been so good that I have to update with vidspams every two days.

I came across this song that I've put up quite a number of times:

Ryan Cabrera - Photo

Still love it a lot.

B1A4 - O.K.

New boyband alert! I like how this new boyband doesn't try to be something they're not. They're cute boys singing songs that match their age and looks. They don't try to be masculine or overly cute, either. I like! And their songs remind me of The Click Five x The Academy Is. Refreshing!

Park Bom - Please Don't Cry

I love Park Bom. But this song... A lil' boring. Heard it before somewhere. Nicely shot MV though.

--------------------

Nicole Seah running for elections at 24....

Isn't this wonderful? You can't help but compare her to the lacklusture Tin Pei Ling, cos Nicole shines so bright.

If only she was running in East Coast. But no matter, my vote's not gonna be affected anyways. ;)

You know, I like Nicole not only because I find her very endearing and confident, but also because she kinda embodies what I want to be. When I was 24. Haha.

When I was 21, I dreamt of being just like Nicole. A job in advertising, and contributing to soceity the way she is now.

What happened? Hmm... let's see.

I found out that advertising will not be able to fulfil my desire to balance work and life. It was fun and exciting while it lasted, but I knew in the long run I would get tired, not of the work itself, but of having to repeatedly explain how working in the advertising world means long hours to my family. I've done it before at a much smaller scale and for a different job when I was in my teens, and in the end I quit that job. It cost me my ambition.

Fortunately, advertising isn't the only thing on my list of things to do. I left the industry with a good rep, and I don't regret that move. Because I am now so happy where I am at. :)

And politics.... Well.... I've always been interested, but there's a certain inertia that I cannot seem to overcome. I know I am not apathetic, but I've never felt a strong pull towards joining or volunteering for a political party.

I have considered joining, even if not a political party, an NGO with the same interest as me. But I never felt "ready". As it is, my time is being split between so many different things. Seriously, taking care of a household is not easy. (Sidenote: Women really have it bad either way. You stay at home, you learn nothing and your world becomes closed. You work, and you still have to balance work and home like mad, you have hardly any time for yourself.)

Since I've past 24, I guess I can only look forward eh? Re-schedule my timeline and keep moving forward.

What I was missing at 24 was support. Which I still lack somewhat now, but since I am older and (I guess) wiser, I can rally the strength within me to push on and fight for the dreams that I have today.

Keep on moving, keep on fighting!

--------------------

The Birkin Bag

This ad is wrong on so many levels.

shame on you if you can't figure that out.

You want my take:
- Women = sport (dehumanised and degraded)
- Men = watch women for entertainment/sport
- Women = don't even know that they are being treated like sport by the men
(I can take this further. The sport is watching dogs race, right? Women = dogs, as seen by men)
- Women = materialistic, hankering over a bag

The list can go on, but suffice it to say that I'm:
- glad I don't have any desire for any designer bag because they don't mean anything to me. If I receive one as a gift, I will make sure I understand what it means to own one.
- disgusted at how women have allowed themselves to degenerate to this and they don't even mind, or are not even aware of it. Yes, men can be idiots, but stop blaming the men for your own misbehaviour.

--------------------

Alright, enough musing for the day!

Charice - Before It Explodes

2011-04-20T15:13:00.001+08:00

I love this girl cos she's got a special voice. About time we welcome singers back in the music industry, yeah?

Question: should I change my blog layout? Tempted to change the colours.

Apple against the world

2011-04-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

The first thing that caught my eye today was a news report saying that Apple is going to sue Samsung.

Hmm. I have nothing against Apple. But I have something against stupid people. Ok, scratch that. I have something against ignorant people.

Apple's main grouse is that the design of the lastest Samsumg Galaxy line of phones and tablets are too similar to that of Apple's iPhone and iPad.

You know what? A phone is a phone is a phone, and a tablet is a tablet is a tablet.

How different can the designs of these gadgets get? Is someone going to design a tablet in the shape of an apple? (No pun intended.) Is someone going to design a phone in the shape of a cat?

No. It's just a standard design. Smartphones are rectangular. Tablets are rectangular.

Let's go a lil' primitive. This is inspired by one of the comments left by a reader. Have you ever seen a car shaped differently from a, well, car? Have you seen a pencil shaped differently from a, well, pencil? Should Faber-Castell sue Staedtler cos (OMG, the horror) their pencil designs are the same?

I used to be an Apple fan - I loved their iPods. Past tense cos now, the iPod doesn't serve me any purpose any more.

I now use a Samsung Galaxy S.

Sure, you can accuse me of being biased. I'm sure you are too.

The thing with Apple is that, I don't like that it re-releases the same product with one or two extra features every year.

Like the iPad with no USB port. The iPhone without video call function. The MacBook Air without a CD drive. How to use?!

And to be honest, I am very superficial when it comes to gadgets. Half the time I don't understand the jargon about which one has the fastest processor, the best and most updated OS, the clearer screen, the number of apps (which I never use anyway).

So I pick the prettiest one. And the Galaxy S, by far, looks the prettiest to me. It's not even half as heavy as the iPhone. Please bear in mind "pretty" is subjective, yeah?

Also, I don't go with the flow. I am not going to buy an iPhone or and iPad just cos it makes me look cool, or because everyone has one.

Anyway, have I drifted from the topic already?

Back to the point. I think it is ridiculous and selfish that Apple is doing this. It makes them sound very pompous and ignorant. Eeew.

Yes. We. Can.

2011-04-19T17:32:00.002+08:00

So. Am I on a roll today?...

Too many thoughts, too little time.

Just announced: Nomination Day is 27 April, Polling Day is 7 May

WOOT!!

How many times in my life will I get to vote, huh?

I voted for the first time 5 years ago.

Did 5 years pass that quickly? Seems like only yesterday I was starting out my iPark internship, getting excited about dating and talking about the polls then.

Well, well, well, this is an opportunity not to be missed. We're given very few chances in this life to make a change, so when I get that chance, Imma make full use of it.

I am only one in a million (ok, five million), but that don't mean Imma gonna not make a difference when I can.

Yes. I. Can.

Yes. We. Can.

Baby, you're a Firework.

2011-04-19T16:13:00.001+08:00

I had a nice chat session with Cheryl Hoon last night - a very good one is a very long time.

We talked about everything under the sun, haha.

But eventually, the topic got around to... haha. Our single status. And how we don't really have anyone else to "whine" about it with.

BFFs? Bec? Jac?

Yeah, well. I don't think they would be able to understand anymore. Those two have been in a stable relationship for some time already, and at the last girl gathering we had, both were talking about buying HDB flats. Which is a topic waaaaay off my radar.

So then Cheryl pointed out that she moved further away from one of her best friends once the friend started seeing someone.

It's not that she wanted to lose her friend. She just doesn't want to ask the friend about the boyfriend, because that would just mean listening to something she wanted for herself but couldn't get. So, if her friend was not going to ask or talk about her non-single status, Cheryl wouldn't ask about it either.

I do the exact same thing. For the exact same reasons.

Am I jealous? Am I human?

You see, it's not that I don't want to be happy for my friends. I do. But slowly and surely, I feel this chasm between me and my non-single friends deepen.

(Do I sould like the self-depreciating Sumiko Tan already?)

As time passes, we just have less and less in common.

So then the problem is laid out, right? And you know me, I like to find solutions. So what do we single girls do? We broaden our social circle.

Thing about Singapore is that, we do not have the culture of inviting our friends into our other social circles. If we're meeting with this group, that's it. No one brings anyone new (other than their other halves, garh).

No opportunity, right? So me being me, I make the opportunities happen.

I've asked to be included in my friends' other gatherings.

My friends (who-shall-not-be-named, haha) said ok, but did not do anything about it.

So much for that.

So. Then I told Cheryl that one of the reasons I am moving away is because of this. I want to meet new people, and I need to find better friends.

Friends who don't make you feel awkward being with them just because they are not single anymore. Friends who don't abandon you after they get attached.

And also, I told her that I am afraid that is the only reason I want to move away. But of course, even I know that it is not true. It may be a sizeable part of the reason, but I have the larger reason of wanting to live my dreams to keep me focused.

So. Conclusion? Keep on moving, keep on pushing. Everyday I need to find something in me to keep me going.

And. I. Will.

Muahaha.

Rants for a Tuesday

2011-04-19T11:24:00.001+08:00

OMG new music I must share now!

f(x) - Pinocchio

Ok, I usually don't give girl groups chances. Unless they prove me wrong. i.e. they are not as dumb as they look.

f(x)... not a fan of initially, and I don't like how wooden Krystal is, and how fake Luna can get. But. I found out Luna's just got a protective wall around her, and she don't give a damn what other people think of her. Kinda like me. And girls like us gotta stick together, no? And then there's Amber's mysterious hiatus, I don't give the benefit of the doubt sometimes, especially when my intuition smells something fishy.

So, I monitored f(x)'s comeback.

And I actually like this song. *thumbs up*

So it's really not that difficult for girl groups to get into my good books. No cutesy crap, no selling your music through your body, be fierce and be your own woman. Easy peasy. Only majority of girl groups can't seem to understand that all you need to succeed is talent, humility and brains.

U-KISS - 0330

OMG this video. So drama. Lol. The song is really nice, though. It's nice to hear K-pop moving away from autotune. The rest of the world will follow, no doubt. Wait and see.

--------------------

On another note. I am sick of the news about Japan. There. I've said it.

I've had enough.

Was I affected? Yes, sure. No one wants bad things to happen to other people, even me. But you know what? Tragedy happens. People die. Deal with it.

And this is Japan we're talking about. They are perfectly capable of handling the crisis.

I'm also not appreciative of the media stories from Japan. It is bad enough that the nuclear crisis is escalating, but the Japanese media is not releasing enough news timely enough! The international community is getting tired of this too, I believe.

Yes, now you're gonna throw rotten eggs at me for being a selfish, unfeeling person. Go ahead. At least I am not pretending to be emotional and affected to the point where I am delusional enough to think that I have some tangible link to Japan.

And no, don't even start on, "What if the same thing happened to Korea?"

The answer is, I will be sad, but I won't be pathetically affected like you are now about Japan. Everything happens for a reason. Deal with it. And you know, I was in Korea when the Cheonan incident happened and everyone on board died. Sure, scale difference. But I wasn't all, "OMG, the poor 46 men, they are good people, etc etc etc."

And. If you haven't made your donation to Japan's relief efforts and are still pathetically emotional about the disaster, I say you deserve a beating.

For the record, I made my donation the very next week from when the disaster happened.

--------------------

So I'm feeling a tad sleepy today.

But only because I stayed up till 1 am watching videos with my sis. Hahaha, I couldn't resist.

How could I when my sister was playing Super Show 3 Japan on the big screen?

Oooo, another blog entry brewing in my head. Coming right up!

Weekend fodder

2011-04-15T17:29:00.000+08:00

So I did say I will write about Tin Pei Ling. Haha, the dust has settled, and it is only now that Ms Tin has decided to break her silence.

My conscience is clear
Ms Tin, Ms Tin, where do I even start? I will start by saying that this is my opinion alone, and I believe that everyone has the right to an opinion, positive or negative.

- If you have a so-called clear conscience, why did you respond to criticism only now? Did you take two weeks off to write out a politically correct (albeit empty) answer?

- Why did you choose to interview with Lianhe? Why not ST, the most-read newspaper in Singapore? Aren't you alienating some Singaporeans by going with a Chinese newspaper?

- Why did you privatise your Facebook and Twitter accounts after you were introduced? Hmm. Can't take the heat, I see? Should've thought more thoroughly about the skeletons in your closet before running for elections, my dear.

- It doesn't matter if you have been involved in grassroots before or after you met your husband, the principal private secretary to the PM. There are many people out there who are in grassroots longer than you have been and have never had such a straight road paved for them.

- "I just hope that Singaporeans can have confidence in me and give me the opportunity to prove myself," she said. The opportunity has been given when you were first introduced. You did not prove yourself. Instead you had many heavyweight members of the PAP speak up for you. Politics is not for girls who buy/own Kate Spade bags - heard of Imelda Marcos, dear?

- Did you say your husband uploaded that kawaii photo of you? A forty-year-old man, in politics... Uploading such a photo online? Common sense? Hello? Oh wait, politicians have lives too, yeah? Of course they do, but because you are a public figure, you have to be careful of what you put of yourself out to the public. Hang on, why am I giving you a Public Relations 101?

I could go on, Ms Tin, but I will save my effort. You're not going to address these valid concerns anyway, suspect you'd be busy choosing which other designer bag to flaunt when you actually get elected into government.

Nevertheless, thank you for running. You have given us a tiny bit of excitement during our polls. Only time will tell if you have made the right decision.

Okay, enough of the serious stuff. More music to end off the week.

P.S. I just realised that I've been working 4-day weeks since I got back from Taiwan! Woot woot, my first 5-day work week will start end of this month! Yay!

Katy Perry - E.T.

Whoah, the transformation! Her fifth single off her highly successful album, Teenage Dream. Gonna be another hit!

Lady Gaga - Born This Way

I actually like this song, it ain't too bad. But I don't get the video. Sometimes Gaga tries to say too many things, the message gets distorted. Don't see the link between sound and visuals here.

Big Bang - Love Song

Whoah, this video is genius! The storyboarding is absolutely sweet! I prefer this video, but the song, not so much. I prefer their comeback single, Tonight, but not the video for that song. Lol.

Okay! Weekend's here!

Songs that make me smile

2011-04-13T16:53:00.001+08:00

Brian Joo - Domino

I like this one more than the Korean version. The only thing that baffles me is how the sound of the song is not as clear as it should be.

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said

Just because the lyrics are awesome:

It’s so loud Inside my head
With words that I should have said
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

I really think the war on terror is a bunch of bullshit
Just a poor excuse for you to use up all your bullets
How much money does it take to really make a full clip
9/11 building 7 did they really pull it
Uh, and a bunch of other cover ups
Your child's future was the first to go with budget cuts
If you think that hurts, then wait, here comes the uppercut
The school was garbage in the first place, that's on the up and up
Keep you at the bottom but tease you with the uppercrust
You get it then they move you, so you never keeping up enough
If you turn on TV all you see’s a bunch of “what the f-cks”
Dude is dating so and so blabbering 'bout such and such
And that ain't Jersey Shore, homie that's the news
And these the same people that supposed to be telling us the truth
Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist
Gaza strip was getting bombed, Obama didn’t say shit
That's why I ain't vote for him, next one either
I’ma part of the problem, my problem is I’m peaceful
And I believe in the people.

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

Now you can say it ain't our fault if we never heard it
But if we know better than we probably deserve it
Jihad is not a holy war, where's that in the worship?
Murdering is not Islam!
And you are not observant
And you are not a Muslim
Israel don’t take my side cause look how far you’ve pushed them
Walk with me into the ghetto, this where all the Kush went
Complain about the liquor store but what you drinking liquor for?
Complain about the gloom but when’d you pick a broom up?
Just listening to Pac ain't gone make it stop
A rebel in your thoughts, ain't gon' make it halt
If you don’t become an actor you’ll never be a factor
Pills with million side effects
Take 'em when the pain's felt
Wash them down with diet soda!
Killin off your brain cells
Crooked banks around the World
Would gladly give a loan today
So if you ever miss payment
They can take your home away!

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said, never said
I can’t take back the words I never said

I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence
Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it
We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth
So scared of what you think of me, I’m scared of even telling you
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me, I know that there’s a jail in you
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few
My screams are finally getting free, my thoughts are finally yelling through

It’s so loud inside my head
With words that I should have said
As I drown in my regrets
I can’t take back the words I never said

Thank you, Taiwan.

2011-04-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

So. Taiwan. Hmm.

When I think of my holiday, my mind runs blank.

It's not that much of a bad thing - I think I let my mind run blank throughout my holiday, that's why.

But at the same time, I am afraid I will lose memories if I let myself let loose. Which is why I am always so rigid about these things. Lol.

So anyways. It was a good holiday. Tons better than the one I had in Seoul a year ago, and I told Geraldine just that. I was happy - which is a feat by any measure.

I like Taiwan, but not the way I love Seoul. Taiwan was a little less personal, a little more touristy, even awkward at times.

I spent 4 days in Taipei, 2 at Alishan (Chiayi) and 1 at Sun Moon Lake (Taichung).

The one thing that I will forever remember about this trip is that I backpacked! I wasn't that afraid of travelling around an unfamiliar country (thanks to super translator Geraldine!) in part because I'm perfectly capable of going around on my own, but backpacking is really a new experience. It wasn't as hardcore like The Amazing Race, but it was still challenging, now I know I can lug a really heavy bag on my back and still enjoy taking in new sights, sounds and smells!

The three days I was in the country, I tried catching the sunrise. That meant waking up before dawn for three days straight. Unfortunately, the weather was bad on all three days, I didn't get to see any sunrise at all. That was bummer to the max.

Alishan was gorgeous. They really didn't lie when they said I would be looking at a sea of clouds. You'll see in the pictures coming up. The clouds really look like the sea among the mountains.

If that wasn't enough, I was in Alishan right smack in the middle of the cherry blossom season. I've never, ever seen cherry blossoms. And I heard they were pretty, and they turned out to be just that. Pretty. I don't see the big fuss about cherry blossoms other than they are pretty. Ok, next!

Sun Moon Lake was the same. It was gorgeous there, and the mist/fog made the place look kinda special and mystical. SML was more commercial, though, and I was so thankful for Starbucks there. Food was delicious there too, only because the minsu we stayed at (Laurel Villa) served wonderful homecooked vegetarian food.

Back in the city, I felt like I was in Seoul instead of Taipei. I love K-pop, but I almost got sick of it playing all the time in Taipei. I wanted Mandopop. I am not a huge fan of Mandopop, but I was in the city where Mandopop was supposed to be big, where all our local artistes go to kickstart their careers. The most Mandopop I got was Aaron Yan, this dude from Farenheit. Other times, it was K-pop, K-pop, K-pop, J-pop, and K-pop again. And when I turned the TV on, every other channel would be playing a Korean drama.

But at least I got to hang out at Jay Chou's restaurant in the city! Woot woot. It was just way cool, cos the entire place was decked out with pictures of him and the radio was of course, playing his songs. A tad weird in retrospect - why would anyone open a restaurant with pictures of himself everywhere? Lol.

And I find Taipei quite contradictory. I love the city, but I find that somehow, it wasn't a city of its own. Kinda like Singapore. There were so many influences from so many different cultures, I wasn't sure of what made Taipei, Taipei.

Bubble tea, maybe? I had so much of the drink that I think I'm a little sick of it right now. Eurgh. But yeah, I guess.... Other than bubble tea, I don't really have any lasting stamp of what Taipei as a city is in my mind. Maybe I should go back to find out, lol.

The pace of Taipei is much slower than that of Hong Kong, and even more slower than that of Singapore. I find that very.... frustrating. Lol. Especially in a city. That's another contradiction: where's the action, people?!

Here's yet another contradiction: the people. Those I came across in Taiwan were nice. Like Uncle Li at Alishan who picked us up from the Chiayi train station and taught us how to go around Alishan, and even arranged a cab for us to Chiayi HSR just so we would catch our train on time. And the nice bus uncle at Taichung HSR who explained the confusing Nantou bus schedule before we could even ask him. And I thought queueing up to enter the subway trains were kinda nice, though a little bit bizarre cos now the people seem like robots.

So the niceness was kinda, uh, nice, until I noticed that no one moved to the centre when boarding the subway. I get annoyed at such behaviour. There is obviously space, and people are trying to get on the train, but nooooo. These people stand at the doors!! What's the point of queueing when you're inconsiderate after you board?!

And this is why I prefer Hong Kongers or Seoulites. Everyone says thery're rude, cos they push and speak loudly. But hey, that's what happens in a fast city - people need to get to places, people need to do things, and they don't mean to be mean. They're just getting on with life. But! They move to the centre of the train and give way to alighting passengers. Automatically, without you having to say, "Excuse me."

Which only leads me to one conclusion about myself. I am a city girl through and through. I love the busy-ness of city life, the noise, the hustle, the rush, the crowd. It's not that I don't know how to relax, or that I don't appreciate silence/being away from the city. I just find joy in finding my place among the crowd and everything else. I find joy in being occupied. Having my mind run blank makes me feel useless and I don't think that will do me any good in the long run.

So yeah. Throw me into any busy city anytime. I'll make do and do a good job surviving. Move me to the beach/mountains if you want me to die a slow death, lol.

So anyway, back to topic. Imma miss Taiwan. But not as much as I miss Seoul as I still do now. It was a good getaway experience, and I will treasure it for all the firsts it allowed me to do - staying away from the city, travelling around unfamiliar territory, hiking, backpacking.

Thank you, Taiwan. It was lovely meeting you.

Pictures here.

The Next Me

2011-03-30T17:52:00.002+08:00

I'm baaaack!

I was in Taiwan for 7 days,and I had a blast of a time! Will update more on my holiday soon, but here's what was playing there 24/7.

炎亞綸 - 下一個我

And who would've expected, my boy was in Taiwan when I was there! Fate! He misses me, I tells ya. Hahah, lol. *pulls self down from the clouds*

And I have something to say about a few things, just noting them here before I forget:
- The 27-year-old in PAP
- Chien Hao's link to the ad for a Birkin bag, or something like that

Ok time to catch up on other things! Like homework! And hopefully Taiwan pictures will be up tonight!

좋다 vs 좋아하다

2011-03-14T15:07:00.001+08:00

There is a difference, please.

Ok, sorry.

The title means, Good vs Like.

What I'm trying to say is that what you like may not be good, and vice versa.

Often times, we're clouded by our opinion/biases and mistake what we like as what is good.

I'm annoyed by that. I don't know why, but I think it shows how ignorant a person is if he or she is unable to make the distinction.

And I hate ignorance.

#PrayForJapan

2011-03-11T17:14:00.004+08:00

It is times like these that we are all reminded of how small we actually are.

I pray for God to protect and bless the people of Japan.

Just yesterday I was reminded of God, and how beautiful my religion is, as are all other religions.

But I was at peace yesterday because I was reminded of why I need to abide by the rules of only consuming halal food. Triggered by reading a news article about a man in China who skinned a dog in public. Sick.

But today, I am further re-assured. I need to continue pushing for what I believe in, and to live the life I want, not only for myself, but for the people around me who I love dearly.

On Monday I was depressed, whining about the lack of support I sought for myself.

Today I am embarassed. There is no time for such petty desires. Tomorrow, we may not have that time to pursue what truly is important.

So. I think God is reminding all of us to take a step back and think about our daily actions.

Recently, God's been reminding us more frequently. It only goes to show how far off and how often we're veering off.

Thank you, God, for everything. Please guide me and show me the right path as I move though this journey you have blessed upon me.

More. Music.

2011-03-09T14:48:00.003+08:00

Of course my day won't be complete without some new music in my playlist.

(Imma feelin' a tad down today, so thankfully there's new music to delve into.)

There's hope for English music!! LOL. This new one by Michelle Branch brings me back to 2002. Me walking to the bus stop at 5.30 am in the morning to get the bus to school. My walkman would be on 987FM and Michelle Branch would be singing right into my mood for the day - "...cos you're everywhere to me..."

Michelle's updated her sound now, but her lyrics are still as plain as before. Plain here is a good thing, cos when I say plain, I mean she says it like it is, and after listening to her words, you realise you're thinking the exact same thing, you just didn't know how to express yourself.

Michelle Branch - Take A Chance On Me

And I could go on and on listening to this song by SuJu-M below.

Super Junior M - Love Is Sweet

Joy Chou wrote it for them, and this is a classic Jay Chou tune. Unfortunately, the lyrics repeat themselves, so after a while it gets kinda boring. Maybe Jay was making it easier for the SuJu boys, since Chinese really ain't their strong suit.

Too Perfect (Korean)

Too Perfect (Mandarin)

Uhm. What?

The song sounds much better in Mandarin. It's got this pull in Mandarin. Maybe it's cos I understand Mandarin better? The Korean version didn't strike me at first listen.

I came across my fav K-pop reviewer's review (haha) of the song, and he didn't like it as much as he did Super Girl. I prefer Too Perfect.

I think it has something to do with the way music works in the different markets. Chinese pop has a special kind of sound and K-pop has a different, special kind of sound. And Super Girl was written K-pop style (which is why it sounds better in Korean), and Too Perfect was written in Chinese pop style.

Anyways, I searched the English translation of both versions and the lyrics don't deviate much in meaning. But I found that the Mandarin lyrics made more sense and were more impactful. Sometimes it's like that... Translations can lose meaning....

And, (太完美) Tai Wan Mei in Chinese = (태안미) Tae Wan Mi in Korean = no meaning!! WHUT? Plus, Hae going (너무 아름다워) Neomu areumdawo x 4 at the end is hilarious. He sounds a bit spastic. LOL. Not that he doesn't sound funny doing the Mandarin one - (给我说你想我说你想我给我说你爱我) Gei wo shuo ni ai wo, gei wo shuo xiang wo etc. Half the time I can't hear what he is trying to say. LOL.

And speaking about Hae, I came across this when I was back-twitter-stalking. Lol. Yes, fangirl alert.

(가끔은이유없이 우울할때가 있다.다른 사람들이 물어볼때 왜 우울해라고 물어볼때 이유없이 우울해...라고 하지만 우울할때는 분명 이유가 있다. 비온다...)

Sometimes I just get upset without a reason. When others ask me why I’m upset, I say nothing is the matter, I’m just sad... But when I become sad, there’s a reason for sure. It’s raining...

Aww. Hae. TT Me too.

Sorry, but I love you.

2011-03-07T12:51:00.000+08:00

Don't hate me when I say this, but I think Big Bang needs to break up.

*runs and hides from the VIPs*

Haha, no, this has nothing to do with me liking Super Junior over Big Bang or anything of that sort. (And I am fully prepared for SUJu to break up any time, too.)

And hear me out, Big Bang breaking up could be the best career move for them yet.

I've been anticipating Big Bang's comeback ever since I started listening to their solo projects. Plus, they've been on hiatus for 2 years, an eon in Korean music industry terms.

However, their comeback left much to be desired.

Firstly, it was a mini-album - a grand total of 6 songs. And then, I found out that two of the songs are actually Korean re-recordings of their original Japanese material. Uhm, lazy much?

But still, this was Big Bang. I could be guaranteed of some great material from them, no?

It turns out that their mini-album kinda disappointed. It was good, it sounded like classic Big Bang, but something was missing. And I could not figure what was missing at first.

Then I watched their comeback on Inkigayo. They were awesome live, as usual, but I could see what they needed for them to make things right.

They needed to break up.

Sounds harsh, right?

Big Bang is a talented group of guys. They can sing, they can dance, they look good. They are beyond excellent performers and entertainers. They can write good, strong songs, they can produce great songs too. Everything they need to make it in the music industry as artistes, they've got it. And their fans will follow them, no matter where they go or what they do.

And it seems they have discovered who they are musically with their successful individual projects over the past year.

Here's where the problem lies. While Big Bang has a signature sound, individually, the boys' influences are distinct. With their comeback, each member tried to bring a bit of their individual styles into Big Bang. But it doesn't work - the Big Bang sound is no longer cohesive as it should be.

To me, that's as far as Big Bang can go. As a brand, as a band, Big Bang has reached it's peak. It's hard to keep trying to top yourself, right? Especially when your music is not evolving.

Big Bang and their music is getting stale and this is because the name Big Bang is keeping them in this mould that makes them churn out the same thing over and over again.

Especially in the Korean music industry where everything moves at breakneck speed, artistes need to constantly evolve to keep themselves fresh and relevant.

Big Bang is relevant, but no longer fresh. They are not maturing with their music. I'm not talking about 180-degree changes. I'm talking about growing with your music.

For example, Madonna. She doesn't change spectacularly for every new album. But she does tweak her sound every so little bit so that each new record is fresh and yet retains that classic Madonna sound.

And then Britney Spears. She has gone waaaay off the hot meter. It's cos she is stuck in 2004, during her Slave 4 U days. Her recent songs, Hold It Against Me, and that one written by Ke$ha, are alright and are signature Brit Brit, but they also sound circa 2004. Classic example of an artiste who is not growing with their music.

so. My conclusion - it is time to put Big Bang to rest.

Boys, Big Bang was your catalyst, but now it's your confine. You've got the chance to discover who are are musically. Move on and do bigger things - think further, aim farther.

Can't turn back the clock, no.

2011-03-01T23:08:00.002+08:00

OMG. It is March already!!

My to-do list is moving at snail's pace!! *panic*

*breathes in, breathes out*

It's ok. I will just re-sked and everything will be alright. Stick to the plan. Everything will work out. *tries to convince self*

Today:

- I miss Hae.... I know I sound a bit delusional here. But really. One month ago, on this day, I was going to watch SS3. Haha, I really miss Hae!! Come back!! Don't leave me here alone!! *snaps back to regular self*

- I'm excited!! I booked a trip to Taiwan!! It was quite a deal that I got at Natas over the weekend: SQ, 3N in Taipei, return transfers from hotel to airport = below 1K. And we'll be spending 2N at Sun Moon Lake and 1N at Alishan. OMG exciting and scary at the same time!! I think I'll be "backpacking" this time - quotation marks cos I dunno, I'm not exactly gonna be living outta the suitcase.... We'll see. There's no time to plan, 3 weeks is WHUT? I'm slightly stressed. And then, a new travel partner, Geraldine!! First time I'm travelling with her, I'm a bit nervous that we might annoy each other. Or I might annoy her. I dunno. We'll see.

- I am worrying a bit more, all over the place. No more time to complete uni application stuff. I'm at the point where I'm reqesting for recommendation letters and there's still so much info to sieve through for my lecturers! So many things at work to clear, so little time. What if I go to Korea and don't make it? What if I don't get accepted in the first place? Why do other people think that I can do it, why do they have so much faith in me? And then there's a whole lot of other things to do on my list: check out new music, check out some beauty services for my mom and me, email some contractors for quotations, transfer money here and there.... So many things, too little time.

Will be back tomorrow with music!! GARH.

Super Junior-M - 太完美

2011-02-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

There is nothing that I do not like in this video.

(Ok, Mr Lee Hyukjae is stealing a lot of face time from my Hae, GRR.)

From the camera angles, the setting, the colours, the styling, I'm impressed. Everything met my expectations. I imagined the MV to look something like this when I first heard the song.

And finally, I get to listen to the superb production and innovative mixing clearly. Wonderful.

Yup, I've moved on to abusing the REPLAY on the MV instead.

P.S. I really, really miss Hae!!!

무서워

2011-02-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

So. I've got a plan.

Been working hard on it since the start of the year. Ideas started swrirling in my head since mid last year.

All the while, I've kept this grand plan to myself, afraid that I might let myself down and not go through with it.

But now that almost everything is in-progress, and I'm actually starting to see a clearer path, I started sharing this plan.

It got a little difficult cos I felt like some of these people I shared with think that I'm not serious about it. That it's all just a joke.

And then I got a little scared.

What if they're right? What if all I'm doing is dreaming? Wishful thinking? What if I only think that I can make it alone, but the reality is opposite? What if things don't turn out right and these crtitics tell me, "I told you so"?

I know what I want. I know how to get what I want.

But I don't know if I will get what I need.

And that is scary. I hate not knowing.

TT

Naiveté? Studpidity?

2011-02-17T17:55:00.001+08:00

Just a(nother) rant.

I'm baffled, almost annoyed at how some people insist that if you increase your privacy filters, or lock your entries, whatever you put online is private.

1. Wake up.
2. Grow up.

When you go online, please be prepared to kiss your privacy goodbye. If you want to keep your private life, private, then you should either be careful of what you say/do online, or don't go online at all.

Only a fool would believe that privacy filters and locks are effective online.

Hackers? Heard of them?

It don't matter if these hackers do it for fun or maliciously - the fact of the matter remains that your information is never private, what you put of yourself online is never private.

What about online transactions, you ask?

To me, while most are safe and secure (if you're savvy enough - though I suspect otherwise if you lock blog entries), you cannot rule out the possibility that your details might be put to use. Maybe by market researchers?

And there's this other trend that worries me.

More and more people are taking photos/videos of strangers and putting them online.

e.g. I see someone random on the streets wearing something fabulous. I take a photo of that person and post it on my Twitter. Sounds innocent.

Turn it the other way around. What if you were photographed without permission? What if your photo was distributed without your permission?

It's an invasion of privacy, right?

So what entitles you to your privacy when you're not respecting the privacy of others?

The new media world fascinates and scares me at the same time.

Super Junior M - Too Perfect

2011-02-15T17:37:00.002+08:00

OMG is it wrong of me to gush over a sexy track?

Oh dear.

I liked this one the second I started playing it.

Super Junior M - Too Perfect

I am not a fan of Mandopop, but it's SuJu-M's comeback track. And I'm missing my boy (boys?) a helluva lot! So, fangirl tendencies. Hah.

I was expecting some cheena run-of-the-mill or K-pop sounding track with Chinese lyrics but I got way more than expected.

Is it too much to say that I found the track Too Perfect? Hah. Lame.

I like how it's got a perfect blend of an international sound and yet it's Mandopop influence is not dampened. Perfect to reach out to the target Chinese market and yet does not alienate the rest.

I love how the solid production (can't really be heard through the audio here - it's radio-ripped) gives the track an extravagance that matches the title and the lyrics.

I cannot get over how the track perfectly complements the image concept of the album. It's rich and laced with a disturbing and macabre quality.

I'm abusing the REPLAY button on this one.

Can't wait for the MV to be out!

110129 SUPER SHOW 3 SG

2011-02-04T00:48:00.001+08:00

I feel really blessed to have experienced Super Show 3 in Singapore. It brought back some nostalgia - I felt again the magic that I used to feel watching a concert. (When you work in the biz, you sometimes lose the magic because you go through it a hundred and one times and again.)

Here're some memorable moments:

(Yes, I know, I haven't put up my HKG post, and I didn't exactly do up a proper post on One Way.)

- Walking into the stadium and going, "WOAH." I knew the stage set-up was going to be almost like the one in Seoul, and I saw the floor plan for the SG concert, too. But I didn't expect the stage to be so... massive. The stage filled the entire stadium. It was simply... massive....

- Feeling exhilirated when the lights went off. The show was going to start! Now, now, now, now, now! Like I mentioned, it's been a while since I went for a concert that I actually really, really wanted to go for. I suddenly felt my heart skip a beat, and then....

- One of the boys emerged. From the centre of the stage. Suspended by cables. It's my Hae!! My Hae opened the show!! *spazz*

- Enjoying the opening with the boys looking oh-so-dashing in their white suits doing Sorry Sorry and Super Girl. And then No Other. But when Ryeowook came on with Sungmin to sing his solo, One Fine Spring Day, that's when it hit me. OMG, I am here. I've been wanting to be here forever. And now I am.

- Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Serious. Heechul dressed as Lady Gaga was hilarious!!! And then, Shindong as Beyonce. LOL! And... my Hae and Eunhyuk as Benyonce's dancers. OMG. I knew I was gonna be laughing hard during this segment, but it still caught me off guard. It was so damn H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. Hae in a tight dress shaking his booty and looking so awkward and uncomfortable! What a precious memory!... Made even better by Heenim who tried to feel Hae up on stage. I could've died of laughter.

- A lot of people were in awe of Kyuhyun when he did his solo. The baby boy's got such a soothing and melodic voice, you can't help but swoon when you hear it. Even my boss thinks that his performance was really good. But... Yesung did it for me. He sang It Has To Be You, and I remember the first time I watched him at the showcase, when I didn't even give him a hoot (cos I was too distracted by Hae). This time though, Yesung oh, Yesung. How could I have ignored you? When he lifted his mike and let the audience sing the chorus... it was magic. Everyone sang. Everyone. What a beautiful moment. Yesung was so touched by it all.

- All My Heart. It was the song that I've been anticipating. Cos during the last chorus, the boys stand on the revolving stage and Yesung is lifted on a platform. And they sing acapella (sorta). I saw the fancams from the other shows, and I just thought that this song would be magical. And it was all I expected it to be. Side note: I was a little baffled by what Siwon was trying to do to my Hae onstage (!!), but after watching the video back, I realised that Hae kinda asked for it. Tsk tsk.

- I didn't get to fangirl much over Hae. Serious. He didn't hang around near the area I was seated at. But it's ok, cos seeing him right in front of me again made me go *swoon*

- The atmosphere was amazing and contagious. Every boy was having so much fun. I've never seen any of them have this much fun performing. I'm really happy to see them so excited - it brings the energy level of the audience higher and everyone had a blast.

- So we all... ok just the fans, know that Kangin's doing his military service at the mo, and the tribute to Kangin was nice and all, but... how come Kibum didn't get a tribute at SS2? Fishy! Kangin appeared in holographic form and the spectacle was gorgeous to watch, but all I could wonder was why Kangin and not Kibum? Kangin's been involved in DUI and assualt, people! Kibum's just "concentrating" on his acting career. The quotation marks there cos you never really know why he needs such a long hiatus - some of the other members are pursuing acting careers at the same time, too.

- I usually use the time in between costume changes to catch my breath, but then this song came on during one of those segments. It has a strange title, but the song is beautiful and it captured my heart within the first 16 bars - melody, lyrics and all. It didn't hurt that Hae looks so incredibly hot munching on his cereal breakfast. Woudln't mind waking up to that every day, heh. *wink*

A Song For ELFs

SS3 was a multi-sensory explosion. Everything, as much as I tried otherwise, kinda passed in a blur. It was one song after another. Getting excited at each song after another. It was just such a wonderful experience that I couldn't make myself, force myself to take in bit by bit. I just had to allow my senses to take in the explosion of the show that was playing in front of me.

I will forever have the memory such an all-encompassing concert etched in my mind. I'm definitely gonna get the DVD and the live CD when they're released, and I'm even considering attending the Malaysia and Vietnam legs of the tour.

But for now, I'll be happy re-living these special moments with my almost complete audio of the concert. You see, I didn't realise that the camcorder would still be recording even with the screen snapped shut. Blessing in disguise!

Thank you, Super Junior for a wonderful concert and the wonderful memories you made with us.

More photos here.

Turning Into Something Else

2011-02-01T14:15:00.002+08:00

Is it February already?! Omo. I have so many things on my to-do list, it is so not funny.

But I've got mroe videos to share. This place turning into a video playlist, lol.

One Way in SG

Yup yup, I know. One Way was eons ago. But still! Fresh in my memory!

What's even fresher is the SuJu concert! I promise... update soon!

But to tide me over, here's my Hae being so squeefully adorable. How can I not fall in love with that face?!

한복 Dreams

2011-01-31T18:01:00.001+08:00

How cute!

I wouldn't mind wearing this version:

Vs the traditional one (though I wouldn't have minded if I didn't have to dress in front of the entire class...): HORROR

With Junsu now!

2011-01-31T13:45:00.000+08:00

One Way feat. Junsu / Rainy Days

No, no, I'm still not over SuJu (their concert was AMAZING!!), but before I forget, here's One Way performing Rainy Days like it is supposed to be performed.

*love*

New Music!

2011-01-26T13:39:00.002+08:00

I was a bit apprehensive on listening to this new JYJ album, given the controversy surrounding it lately, but thanks to this review, I'm gonna check it out.

And regarding the JYJ-DBSK brouhaha that's happening, I say, open up your eyes and see what's really been happening.

I'm not interested in who is right and who is wrong. But to me, one thing's clear: only passion and music are gonna see you through. Fame and popularity are only temporary.

Some sense!

2011-01-25T14:12:00.002+08:00

Finally. You see why I really don't like SNSD or KARA?

Because they suck.

I'm not saying SuJu isn't in the same league - they're an idol band after all. Popular is not equals to talented.

But girls who have to show skin and act sexy/cute for awards and hits? Not my thing. And they don't even sing or dance well.

And finally someone agrees with me.